Twitter Debate

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Photo by Michael K. Lavers

I responded to a tweet this morning from Patrick Madrid, an American Catholic author and radio host.* We had a fine exchange, which you can also see if you want to wade through my timeline. Out of nowhere, however, I got pinged by two other people who wanted to discuss the issue further. 

Twitter is a difficult medium on which to have an in-depth conversation. So, @ShannonGlasford, I just wanted to express myself a little better and thought it more appropriate to do that here. Please feel free to respond in the comments section below if you think there is more to discuss. 

I appreciate that you reached out to discuss this with me although I have to admit I'm not sure why you did, as you don't follow me there and I don't follow you. We disagree on the issue of marriage and equality. That disagreement doesn't make either of us bad people, and I hope those like us will be able to learn to get along. Because gay people are going to be able to marry someday soon and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. 

You said "children are better off living with their BIOLOGICAL parents." I don't disagree. Surely you know, though, that many parents, gay and straight, have adopted kids whom they love and care for as though they *are* their BIOLOGICAL kids. You seem to make a distinction. Thankfully adoptive parents, gay and straight, do not. And I say "thankfully" because otherwise the state (foster care) and tax dollars would be raising these children. 

In addition, many gay parents have BIOLOGICAL kids via the advances in fertility drugs you mentioned. These are families in which the children have only known their parents (for some it's two moms, for others it's two dads) as their parents from the day they were born. You may disagree with it, but it's happening in your town, your parish, and in towns and parishes all across our country. 

Plus, you cited studies showing kids do better with their biological parents. I don't disagree with such studies and would love it if all couples with children who are currently married, including so many Catholics and other people of faith, could work it out and stopped getting divorced. However, divorce keeps happening and many children are not living with their biological parents through no fault of their own. Their parents are free to remarry, though. 

In addition, you should be aware that there are other scientifically sound studies that show equally similar things about children of gay couples. If you really believe marriage is the best way to preserve society and raise children, it is irrational to deny such parents the rights, benefits, and obligations of marriage. 

Finally, if your argument is based on your faith, you have to recognize the law protects all faiths (and even no faith) equally. The law cannot require anyone to follow the dictates of your faith. Otherwise our country is no different than Iraq and Iran, two countries that strictly follow Sharia law. Our country is not that. 

If you want people to follow your faith, be the genuine, authentic example that compels people to want more of whatever it is you have. If you can't live that example, at least try not to fault someone else their own struggles.

Again, thank you for reaching out. We can always continue this discussion here if you want, but maybe we should agree to disagree and hope we, and others like us, can all get along. 

* The initial tweet you can find on my timeline. Mr. Madrid's tweet linked to the page I hyperlink above. 

Some resources for Gay Catholics can be found at a variety of places around the web:

New Ways Ministry
A ministry of advocacy and justice for LGBT Catholics, and reconciliation within the larger Christian and civil communities.

Equally Blessed
Faithful Catholics committed to full equality for LGBT people in the church and civil society.

Dignity USA
A ministry that works for respect and justice for people of all sexual orientations, genders, and gender identities - especially LGBT persons - in the Catholic church and the world through education, advocacy, and support.

Fortunate Familes
Catholic parents with LGBT children supporting others like us to affirm, celebrate, and seek equality for our families. Our faith journey calls us to strive for justice for all our children.

A Matter of Faith

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What is it about gay people homosexuals (because that seems to be the word of choice when we’re referenced by Christians and I think it’s because there is a desire to focus on the ‘sexual’ part of the word – and I don’t mean that snarkily) that causes Christians to spend so much of their time worrying about us? I ask this with great sincerity because I don’t understand the interest and I can’t help but see it every time I open any of my social media apps (mainly Facebook. Twitter has more of us heathens).

I mean, what is it, really, that causes entire organizations (I’m looking at you Catholic Church and Focus on the Family and politicos like the Liz Cheney Campaign) and even entire countries (Uganda) to spend so much energy and time and money on us? Why, out of all the issues in the world to be concerned about, is the focus so strongly on the issue of – duhn duhn duuuuuuuhn - the homosexual?*

When did it happen that we are the reason for everything bad in the world? To go by my Facebook timeline: We are why people don’t have free speech rights. We are completely ruining the entire institution of marriage (but not me because I live in Texas). We are rubbing people’s faces in our homosexuality ALL THE TIME because we dare to respond when people compare us to pedophiles and terrorists and zoophiles. We (not alcohol, not drugs, not your basic selfishness and greed) are more destructive than a nuclear bomb to the welfare of the family. And, maybe most despicably, we are responsible for the downfall of the entire beef industry because we cause people everywhere to EAT-MOR-CHIKIN.

I’m writing this because I saw some things on my timeline today that made me hang my head and weep. Literally.

The first was this: How I Wish the Homosexuality Debate Would Go.

And then there was this: To My Friends Who Identify Themselves as Homosexuals.

I grew up in a small town in West Texas and am Facebook friends (and family) with many people who are proud fans of Rush Limbaugh, so I am generally unfazed by the occasional such post. But this week it’s been out of control and it’s all because of this guy:

Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson

…who has some very strong opinions about the homosexuals and the people of color.** 

I’ve read he’s also a preacher (I don’t watch the show so I really don’t know), but there is video of him in which he is speaking to an audience, holding a Bible (and a horse bridle?), and saying more remarkable things. Interesting tidbit, he went to school with one of my uncles, who’s a fan, as are many of my friends and other family members, at least according to my Facebook timeline.

As a homosexual, the linked items above were difficult for me to read and watch. And it was annoying to continue seeing Phil Robertson’s face and the “I SUPPORT HIM” posts in my timeline. But what made me emotional, what made me actually hang my head and weep were two other items.

This: Dear Christians Defending Phil Robertson.

And, this one in particular: Why I Can’t Say Love the Sinner/Hate the Sin Anymore. As I was reading it to Melissa I unexpectedly choked up and couldn’t continue. And then she started crying, too.

I’ve written before that I am a person of faith and about my lifelong struggle with same. Raised Catholic, I stopped going to Mass for years. Experiences in my life lead me back, however. And while I continually struggle and rage and laugh and cry and argue and question, I seek and pray and, ultimately, I believe and it just is a part of who I am.

In some ways, I feel as though I can relate to what I think many Christians seem to be feeling of late because I am gay. Based on my social media timelines, Christians feel they are being persecuted for being “followers of Christ” and for being vocal about that belief. Maybe we can all relate to their apparent fear/anger because don’t we all (I mean, for the most part… we don’t all have Donald Trump’s ego) worry what others think of us at some point in our lives? It’s embarrassing to be laughed at, to be thought of as illogical, crazy, stupid, or sick.

Maybe there are similarities between the coming out experience and a person's profession of faith. Having 'come out', I know what it feels like to be fearful of being shunned and persecuted for conveying something about myself. And, I did experience some aspect of those things. I wasn’t lynched or martyred or marked with a scarlet letter, but I was compared to some pretty vile things, told I was crazy, made to feel as though I was not a good person, and otherwise estranged for a time from people I love and care for. (And every time someone speaks about gays as Robertson did in his GQ interview I am made to feel many of those things again).

I think Christians are starting to feel these things that, traditionally, they have imposed on others without a lot of thought. Understandably, they don’t like it. And they are speaking up about it. Hopefully we can have some patience with them. It’s like when I came out to my parents. Given time, their hearts and minds were changed.

I think that will happen here. I think it must be very hard for a group that’s been the majority for so long to experience what so many minorities live with every day. That doesn’t mean we excuse it; but, maybe we can use our own experiences to be patient and recognize that with time, most people do come around.

But it’s not going to happen without some personal struggle. And, sadly, we’re probably going to see a lot more Phil Robertson and Sarah Palin in camo and Governor Perry in Carhartt type moments before it’s all said and done. The first two links above are indicative of that.

And, for many Christians, it’s the questions and statements raised in those first two links that are going to dictate just how this whole ‘homosexual debate’ is going to play out in history books.

But I can’t help but wonder…is ‘the homosexual debate’ and how we line up on either side really going to be the defining factor of what it means to be a Christian in 2014 (and beyond)? Really?

To me, Ruthie Dean’s post is very much like the argument I have with my parents and with myself on a pretty regular basis…if Christians are the light of the world, why are things so dark? If people are "supposed to want what we have because of our love" and Christians believe “people outside the church will know Jesus because of our love for one another,” then where is this love and why - especially in the face of so-called preachers like Robertson - is anyone surprised that more people are not clamoring to "want what we have" or to know this Jesus?

These are the things I think of as a person trying to make it in this world. A person who happens to be gay, but who is also many other things, including: a mother, a daughter, a partner, and a person of faith. And it's why, in moments of reflection (yes, usually after I've unloaded on social media or an argument with Melissa or an unsuccessful teachable moment with my daughter), I have to ask myself - what does my life say about who I am and what I believe? And does it really match up with what I’m saying? And if it doesn’t, why doesn't it?

And maybe that's it...instead of such an exaggerated concern about the supposed sin of my neighbor, I'm better served - as are those immediately around me - focusing on the very real problems I bring to the table and what I can do about them.*** 

If nothing else, it's a good place to start. Maybe it's the only place to start.

***

* Um. Where are all the gym teaching lesbians? 

** Can anybody tell me why we aren’t more up in arms over this guy’s comments about "the blacks" in Pre-Civil-Rights-Era Louisiana? Are you kidding me? COME ON!!! I. Can’t. Even.

*** I think there's even a verse about that somewhere...

Games

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As I come to the tail end of my twitters and FB sabbatical, I'm finding that some things have changed with respect to my social media diet (and my thoughts on same), but I recognize that my displaced habit simply manifested in new ways.

Namely, I just channeled a lot of energy into Instagram (which was pretty much my only other social media outlet, besides email and blogging). But, life also happened and without constantly looking into my iPhone screen (or laptop or desktop screen), I found I read more, did more, and was present more.

But...the thing is, social media is just part of our landscape today. And I like it. I've made some really good friends via social media and I really wouldn't want to trade that for anything.

Understatement of the year - Twitter is a great source for news. But, it's a constant streaming of "eye-bites" that unless you do a little (or a lot) of digging on your own, can often lead to a really distorted picture of what that piece of "news" is really all about.

One way I've counteracted the loss of Twitter "news" during my day was to subscribe to two newspapers that I now read over breakfast or before going to bed. One is my local paper (the San Antonio Express News) and the other is the New York Times. I'm aware (at least via my folks) of a bias against the Times for being a liberal rag, but I find it excellent. A very wide array of news, entertainment, opinion, that reaches globally. I've enjoyed the heck out of my subscription to date.

I bring up these two reading items to say that one downside I've discovered from my Twitter usage was just that I'd stopped reading as much as I used to, and I hate that. I think there's a lot to be said about the many stories of late that have come out illustrating how much our attention span is impacted by using things like iPads, and iPhones, and other electronic devices to read everything from books, to work documents, to our newspapers. For me, anyway, I do find myself in the middle of a kindle book, or news story, and if I want to look something up, it's just a swipe of the finger to connect me to the internet, which can lead to indiscriminate surfing or gaming, and before I know it, an hour's passed and I haven't returned to the book, or the article, or the whatever.

It's an issue. And apparently, it's changing the way my brain works (and your brain, too!). I'm reading The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains right now, and it's some interesting stuff.

Then, last night, I read this great piece from the Times that realllllly resonated with me. If you've ever found yourself inexplicably drawn for the kajillionth time to a game of Angry Birds or Words with Friends or, my personal favorite, Land Grabbers (don't judge me), it'll probably resonate with you, too. It's called Just One More Game...Angry Birds, Farmville, and Other Hyperaddictive 'Stupid Games'. And, it even has a poker component that I find amusing.

The author, Sam Anderson, makes some great points. One, simply being his description of the iPhone itself: they're "sophisticated game console(s)" that otherwise non-game playing consumers can now carry around and interact with at all hours of the day and night.

Think about people you know on Facebook who you constantly "see" playing Farmville or the Sims. This stuff is addictive, and Anderson tries to find out why.

He writes:

Stupid games, on the other hand, are rarely occasions in themselves. They are designed to push their way through the cracks of other occasions. We play them incidentally, ambivalently, compulsively, almost accidentally. They’re less an activity in our day than a blank space in our day; less a pursuit than a distraction from other pursuits. You glance down to check your calendar and suddenly it’s 40 minutes later and there’s only one level left before you jump to the next stage, so you might as well just launch another bird.

Hmmm. I know the feeling.

The poker component comes in at the tail end of the article, when Anderson spoke to Frank Lantz, the creator of a game (Drop7) that had overtaken Anderson's life. Lantz claimed that poker was the game to which he had the deepest relationship. To him, poker was:

...like a tightrope walk between this transcendently beautiful and cerebral thing that gave you all kinds of opportunities to improve yourself — through study and self-­discipline, making your mind stronger like a muscle — and at the same time it was pure self-destruction. There’s no word for that in English, for a thing that does both of those at the same time. But it’s wonderful.

I can definitely relate to that, too.

Anderson ultimately concludes that 'stupid games' "force us to make a series of interesting choices about what matters, moment to moment, in our lives."

With an iPhone or other mobile device constantly at the ready, it seems to me (from experience) that it's easier than ever to leave 'real life' decisions to later in favor of one more drawing, or one more level, or one more...something in whatever game I find myself then immersed...that, ultimately, really just doesn't matter.

And at what cost? Seems to me that as these devices become more and more prevalent in our society, the people who are better able to compartmentalize and detach will be the purveyors (of what?) to those that can't.

At any rate, just some food for thought. One thing that's been a blast in helping me to 'detach' is my daily trail chronicle, which I've been keeping a record of over on Instagram.

This is from today (I'm never gonna be able to get a job as a camera person in Hollywood, that's fer dang sure. Back story, over the past couple of days, I've come across a nest with chicken-size eggs. Before Tuesday, the nest has always been unattended, and what started out as four eggs, turned into seven. Maybe she's now sitting on babies?):

*** 

There is No Shame in Fandom...is there?

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I woke up this morning listening for the squeals of bikini clad girls and the steady *thump* *thump* *thump* of a DJ's bass before realizing that (a) I could actually breath because second hand smoke wasn't seeping through my a/c unit, (b) my sheets and pillows felt good and smelled even better, and (c) somebody wonderful was sleeping next to me. Ah, the contented stretch of being home, in my own bed.

Of course, that's not to say I didn't have trouble falling asleep last night. You see, I left Vegas on the very day the WSOP Main Event started, the day Doyle Brunson, the Godfather of Poker - who everyone feared wouldn't play the Main this year - kicked things off with the familiar "shuffle up and deal!", and the day 897 people entered to take their shot at the Big One.

And remember, this is only Day One. There will be 4 Day Ones, and 2 Day Twos. If you make it past your starting draw, you still have five long days (12-15 hours each) of poker to navigate before finding yourself part of the lucky few who'll make up this year's November Nine.Yesterday, 560 fortunate players crossed that hurdle and will start again, in four or five days, depending on what Day 2 they drew.

Regardless of whether the numbers are down from last year (which I don't see happening, but we'll see), the field will be massive.  What other sport draws competitive numbers like that? I can't *wait* to see the stories of some new faces...that's always the best part.

I'm also really glad to see some of the changes in the reporting. If you can't be in Vegas but love watching the action, you really need to be checking out ESPN's live streaming coverage (follow @ESPN_Poker for reports and links to same). The reporting is excellent and the commentary is even better, as they're using actual poker pros to discuss hands and strategy and to obtain interviews with the players. It's kind of a 2+2er's dream, imo.

In addition, I really think ESPN scored a coup when they signed Kara Scott, @KaraOTR, to assist, because while she rocks the camera with her looks, that's actually secondary to her ability to speak to the issues, get players to open up (which is a unique skill and talent that you either have or you don't - and she does, in spades), and (more importantly) ask the questions that you find yourself wanting to hear answers to. There's no way all that coverage will end up on TV so don't miss out by skipping the livestreams. I only hope that this won't keep Kara from playing because she's good.

Despite my inability to run deep or cash in anything this year (which I'm bitter about, but starting to deal with), I had an amazing trip. I met everybody I wanted to meet (well, except for @kimshannon, who was too busy killing cash games in AC with @OnAFoldDraw, slackers) and played a ton of poker.

I'm amazed at the people who make up the poker community. Sit down at any table, cash or tournament, and you will find people from every walk of life and from every corner of the world. As someone who loves stories, this is so right up my alley it's not even funny. And part of my problem with playing this game of late is that I find myself focusing more on the people and their stories than my hand and the proper play. There's a time and a place to be that voyeur...trying to actually *win* at poker is not that time.

I also think the trip helped me either get comfortable with, or give myself over to, my total Twitter/poker addiction. I mean, I guess I could try to fight it...but why? It is what it is and so long as I'm not neglecting the really important things in my life, I need to just accept it and quit worrying about what people think about it. Soon as I start trying to censor myself, things get stupid, so what you see is pretty much what you get, folks. I used to joke that Twitter isn't real, but I'm kind of starting to think differently (not that it's a real living thing, but that the connections it brings are or can be).

That said, I was asked about what I get out of Twitter and what is it for me. I don't know that I can really describe it...I believe we're all social creatures. Everyone wants to be loved and validated and appreciated. There are lots of ways we get that in life and real people in your day to day activities are key. Because I work solo, and often all day in my office in front of a computer, Twitter is an immediate social outlet. So that's a big part of it.

And after this trip, I have to say - without Twitter, I never would've met any of the people I met while in Vegas. I mean, come on! Twitter put me in a position to meet Doyle Brunson, @TexDolly. Can you believe that? Honestly, I can't. But it's true. THAT ALONE IS WORTH A KAJILLION BILLION DOLLARS TO ME. (ok...well, maybe not a kajillion, but you know what I mean).

But I also got to meet @WriterJen, @AlCantHang, @WhoJedi, @Maridu, @DMBakes (HELLO!), @KaraOTR, @PokerCurious, @NicolakPoker (I bet you'll like his blog) @3dgar, @JenShahade, @two_isles, @pinkladiespt, and so many other people (from Sweden to England, Mexico to AfriCAH! as PitBull might say). I mean, it's crazy incredible. And I know there's people I'm leaving off (I'm sorry, but I'm totally following you on the Twitters). Now...if I could just meet Ballz from @TheMicros, my life would be complete.

I got on Twitter when I started my own practice. That official "work" Twitter fell quickly to the wayside as soon as I found Daniel Negreanu (the first person I followed on my @PokerLawyer account) and other players online.

So to the question - what are you hoping to get out of Twitter? Nothing...it's given me plenty so far and I don't think I could ask for anything more.

Thanks for making my trip amazing, people. I was only halfway kidding about the "come home with me/live in sin" thing.  If I could get away with it, I'd totally try. ;-)

I hope you won't forget me, Vegas (despite your making me feel like Ben Folds in the video below)...Until I get to see everyone again - safe travels and lots of run good, from me to you.

The Ivey Impact

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Artist, Margaret W. Tarrant

On the day the 2011 World Series of Poker kicked off, its most famous player and the most recognized face of Full Tilt Poker, Mr. Phil Ivey, essentially showed the world poker's ass.  I'm not saying Phil Ivey is an ass. I'm saying that the inability of Ivey and the other powers that be behind Full Tilt to come to an agreement *before* he took to his FB page and filed a lawsuit against his former business partners means that a whole bunch (more) of poker's dirty laundry will soon become fodder for the grist mill. This, in turn, will further blacken the shiner the industry's been sporting since Black Friday.

The DOJ's action on Black Friday (warranted as it was) was bad enough and certainly brought to light some of online poker's worst business practices.  Since then, though, and thanks to Twitter and Quad Jacks, I've learned so much more about some aspects of the poker community and about online poker, in particular, that I'm just pretty much disgusted with the whole thing.

For example, apparently it is actually a lot more common than I thought for pros to multi-account (i.e., cheat).  For every Nick Rainey, how many others *don't* we know about?  I can't help it. After hearing Nick publicly admit to cheating on QuadJacks this week, I am questioning *every* major win online. In my mind, ghosting/multi-accounting in online poker is no different than doping in professional sports and a fail safe mechanism to protect against the activity must be implemented when regs eventually get passed legislating online poker. If you guys want more fish in your pond, then you better clean the freaking lake. If not, how can an amateur like me encourage people like my mom or family members or friends to give it a try when, and if, it ever gets regulated? Right now, I would tell even my worst enemy to avoid online poker like the plague (yes, moot point, I know, but you see what I mean...I hope). And honestly, knowing how well our federal government regulates things...?  Sigh.

But let's look at what else is disgusting...When I first read Ivey's FB page post, I admired his statement and I still do. Dude drew first blood and was able to frame the action in a manner most favorable to him. In the court of public opinion, he aligned himself with, and championed, all players wronged by Full Tilt's horrible business practices. But be clear what he's doing.  This is not about my frozen FT bankroll and it ain't about yours. Nope, this is very much about Ivey protecting what's his, as *any* good businessman should do. As @Grange95 so succinctly put it, "Ivey's lawsuit is 99.44% about Ivey's contract, non-compete clause, & funds on Full Tilt. Other players? Lip service."

For *anyone* to bash Ivey for doing that, they're crazy. He's not your uncle, your counselor, your savior.  He's a brand, a business man, and an entity unto himself. He made that happen. Not FullTilt and not Tony G and not Mike the Mouth or anyone else. If that were you, and your livelihood was on the line - what would you do?  Seriously. Think about it. If you tried to work things out with your partners to no avail, you'd lawyer up. And that's what's happened here.  Litigation, like the making of sausage, is really a gross and unpleasant endeavor and the longer this goes on the more...um...mashed up sausage casing, I guess, we're going to see.  I'm sad that it won't just be us, the poker community, seeing it. I can only hope, though, that all of this will serve as a catalyst to get online poker back up and running in a safe and regulated environment (that is not raked so bad that it becomes cost prohibitive).

This post is not a "Team Ivey" or a "Team whoever" post. It's just my opinion about what I see a businessman doing, which for better or worse has an impact on a lot of other people.  But it's for that reason that I think it's pretty gross to see people in the industry, especially some of the more vocal pros of late, publicly decrying Ivey's actions and laying the groundwork to, in effect, blame him for Full Tilt's failures. Ivey filing this lawsuit, sure, may not have been good for Full Tilt's ability to get funding to pay players back - but how is Full Tilt's inability to pay Ivey's fault? 

Unless it is shown that Ivey is responsible for the entirety of FT's business practices, including drafting, overseeing, and ultimately approving the agreements that allowed the non-segregation of player funds, then this public blamefest is nothing more than form over substance (which, sadly, happens every day when business deals go sour and former partners become locked in a death battle to "get what's theirs").  Do you honestly believe, though, that any of the pros, much less Ivey, were involved to that extent? (Whether they should've been and/or have provisions protecting them from the actions and omissions of their partners is another issue and not the subject of this post.)

I mean, it's like one minute these pros (I'm thinking of a couple) hate each other and are mortal enemies, but the next, they're best friends aligned in support of the hate on Ivey train. Talk about your flip floppers...it's just gross guys, so please stop.  Plus, I honestly can't help but see it as just another PR ploy (akin to Ivey's FB statement, but a day late and a dollar short - because IVEY GOT THERE FIRST) to "manage the damage" in the court of public opinion. 

In life, everyone's always shooting for an angle. Good poker players know this better than the general public and better than even the best of lawyers.  Ivey is, arguably, the best poker player in the world. The impact his most recent actions will have on the poker industry will be worth watching for a long time to come. I, like many, wish those actions could have been observed on the felt rather than in a courtroom, but you tell me, who do we really have to blame for that?

Tournament Torture

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Wanted, first off, to say thanks so much to folks who railed/encouraged me this weekend: @rosietexecano, @_TXAG98_, @BigBlindAces, @suzysbad, @MN_Tiny, @willhwk, @tadmrichards, @matmoeb,@txcardslinger, @tripsteur, @Psx120, @Candipartypoker, @willaramirez, @CheeseYQueso, @ricdoherty, @pokerhag, @HeartforGaming, @wndywitch, @LuckyStein - you guys rock and I appreciate the rail. For an amateur, being able to tweet updates is so cool.

My poker schedule, like everyone's, changed after Black Friday.  Since that day, the only place I've been playing online is Lock Poker and Bodog and I mainly feel like I'm doing it just to keep in practice. Whereas, before, I was able to play 20+ tournaments a day, I'm lucky now if I can get in three.  And honestly, like @thegroupie wrote about in a post, I've been worried because it seemed I could not final table anything in the wake of Black Friday.

The other things I've been doing is playing in local live games, and that's what the tournament this weekend was about. I've played in it once before, with some success, and so I was excited when I got the email giving details: $350 buy-in, fairly good structure (at least until late, just like last year), good food and interesting people.

The tourney drew enough to fill four tables and first prize was a little more than $4500. The most interesting thing about the tournament, to me, was not so much the hands, but the players.  Lots of internet pro action going on, ranging from jeffbeesdat, ranmachan, ChipRick, and others.  As the tourney began, I was sandwiched between jeffbeesdat and ranmachan, and told myself if I could hold my own at the table, I might have a shot. Turns out, I held my own.

I chipped up pretty early with AKo. The interesting thing to me about the hand was the river and my thought process before making the decision.  I want to back up and say - I'm reading Tendler's The Mental Game of Poker.  I highly recommend it, if for nothing else - the warm-up, preparation components.  Pre-tourney, I utilized what I'm reading and wrote out my goals for the game and one of those goals dealt with my decision-making.  I didn't consciously think about my written goals during the hand, but maybe subconsciously it helped me because I really thought through it before making my decision.

Blinds are 50/100 and we are all quite deep with 15k avg stacks.  Folds to me in LP. I raise 3x PFR and ranmachan flat calls.  Flop comes Txx rainbow, all low cards.  Turn brings x, I barrel again, he calls.    At this point, I'm done with the hand but I'm wondering, if he has a set, why not raise? If he has AT, why not raise?  River brings A. I bet again and now he raises quite a lot.  Because of his play to this point, the only hand I'm really worried about is AT. I figure, if he has a set, why wouldn't he raise me on the turn? Sure, my turn barrel is questionable, but knowing he's an internet pro, I figure it's possible he's floating me.  So, I tried to maintain initiative while also trying to pot control with my bet sizing. Why didn't he raise me there, I wonder...I'm a little sick because I don't really want to call off any chips with a losing hand this early in the tourney and all I've got is TPTK, which is just gross.  After thinking through the hand, I just didn't believe he had a set and if he played AT like that and got there on the river, well, God bless him.  Fortunately, he turned over 7s and I took a nice pot. Maybe that was a dumb play, but I felt like I was thinking and I went with my read and it felt great being right.  It also felt great when jeffbeesdat said, "great call."  I think he meant it.  ;-)

I took some hits but was able to stay around 25ish bbs when we broke to three tables. At that point, it was pretty much either chip up or go home time as antes had kicked in. A good player (R) immediately two seats to my right was playing great position poker, which meant that nearly every time I was BB or SB, I was getting raised.  The great thing about that kind of play is that, while you don't have a hand every time, the one time you do have a hand, you've pissed off the player enough that *that's* when they shove and that's what happened here. R woke up with AJo and raised my BB. I had made the decision to ship my ~22bbs and, having me covered, he snap-called.  He flopped a J and I rivered a K and that was all she wrote, brother.

Once at the final table, I finally started getting real hands (As, Ks, AK) and chipped up quite nicely. The structure was such, though, that you really couldn't be lackadaisical or unnecessarily leak chips. Plus, it is *so* important to be able to calculate odds and do poker math at the table, without the benefit of a calculator (which my lazy butt/brain uses at home).  I leaked some chips in two critical hands not realizing that a player was committed once they called my raise and I was getting odds to call their flop shoves, but instead folded. 

Those two plays pretty much put us all fairly even 6-handed, with jeffbeesdat (immediately on my right) the cL.  Once again, an aggressive player (C) was raising every button on my BB.  Instead of just min-raising, though, he'd raise 3.5 or 4 times the BB, effectively putting himself AI if anyone called and checked back to him.  Finally, after the fourth time, he was short and his only raise was an actual AI.  I look down at A2o. Not Harrington's A8 cut-off limit, but the guy can't have a hand every time.  I snap call and immediately hear "great call!' from jeffbeesdat and some of the other players, which made me feel good...but...I did ask, "what's so great about it?!" jeffbeesdat said - "you're here to win, not coast." And he's right.  C was *pissed* and berating my play, asking how I can call so lightly, as he turns over 4-6o.

Sure enough, flop brings a 4. Turn brings a 6 and, just for good measure, the river brings another 6.  While I had him covered, I was left with about 3bbs and so I shoved my SB when a MP player limped and couldn't triple up.

I easily could've been out of the tournament on the K2 hand, but that time I got to inflict a little tournament torture on someone else.  And, of course, mine came 6-handed.  That's ok, I really felt great about my play and have so much to work with and work on.  The great thing about playing live is meeting people like jeffbeesdat, ranmachan, and ChipRick; and, learning from them. 

I know the WSOP is going on and I wish you guys luck if you're playing - do your best and take your time.  Hopefully we'll be seeing each other across the felt, at a final table, soon.

Thanks again for the rail - and for reading my blog.  Now.  I suddenly have a hankering for waffles, syrup, bacon and a bikini... ;-)

Cheers

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In the aftermath of Black Friday, if there's any joy to be had in Mudville these days, I guess it's that the summer is upon us and the series is right around the corner (and that Representative Joe Barton has gone on record stating that he will introduce legislation that would "legalize and regulate online poker in the US".  I called his DC office and was told something will be available for review soon.  When asked to clarify "soon," I was told two weeks, so...).  And, Twitter is abuzz with people making their plans and gearing up for all the events.  I can't wait (I say, as though I've got a chance, which I do, and which I will never stop believing)!

I've been making my list and checking it twice as I gear up for my trip to the hole-ly land come June 27 and I think I've got my schedule pretty set.  Now to just keep the bankroll intact and to prepare for being away from home and from my loves for two whole weeks.  That's a lot of time and I'm a pretty selfish pig for taking advantage of it.  BUT.  I have a plan, and that plan is to win.  And to bring the spoils home to then spoil those that let me pursue my dream and live this life that I'm really quite blessed to live.

That's the plan, anyway.

In the meantime, whether you're making plans for a summer of poker, or just making plans for a summer of fun, I hope it's a really good one for you.

Cheers! xoxoxo

Technology

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I sent 2 tweets and answered three emails before I rolled out of bed this morning...before the alarm even went off, actually.  Squinting my eyes from the glare of the iPad, I continued scrolling through my timeline...and ran across this Wall Street Journal Article.  Just a few days ago, I'd read another interesting article about cyberspace (when you're dead) in the New York Times (both of which I believe were tweeted by the ever-wonderful @nikiblack).

I spend a lot of time online.  For work and for fun, but especially when I'm playing poker.  While playing, I generally have twitter up in the background, music playing through iTunes, an iPad for email, and my BlackBerry for calls.  I generally don't have the TV on, but...sometimes I do.  That is a lot of distraction and a lot of multi-tasking (which, of course, is detrimental to playing solid poker).  And when I'm not in front of a computer, I'm never without access because I'm never without my BlackBerry. 

While in Germany for 16 days, we had very little access to the internet and because I was unsure of the roaming costs, I completely shut down my BlackBerry. In addition to all the sights I was able to see while there, I read four books, played a bunch of charades, enjoyed a great family viewing of The Sound of Music, and just generally reconnected with reality and the truly meaningful loves in my life.

I find myself questioning technology and these articles that recommend "detoxing" or/and logging off.  On one hand, I recognize the all-consuming time suck that such technology can be.  I can spend an hour going off on a Google search tangent or playing on YouTube.  And Lord knows I know how much of an effort (read - time waste) it can be to create an award winning State video (I Haz Chips, anyone?). 

On the other hand, this technology is a part of our lives.  It's not going anywhere.  Indeed, 8% of internet users are Twitter users; and, as intimated in this Pew report, Twitter usage has risen 18% between 2008 through 2010.  I guarantee that number will rise in the coming years.  (For me, twitter is where I spend the vast majority of my online time.  While I have a FB account, I very rarely post things on it and very rarely use it to keep up with friends - I do that in "real" life...and via twitter - ack!)

I certainly understand the need to stay grounded in reality by logging off and going tech-free.  At the same time, this technology IS reality in that it is and has become a part of our every day lives.  While one could log-off and go all luddite, the fact remains that, for most of us (at least everyone I know), technology is necessary.  Sure, you could send snail mail letters and/or conduct business solely in person or on a rotary dial telephone...but, who would your clients be?  And how would you get them?  And what exactly would your business be?

Do you see my point? 

And every technology we have now will either be obsolete or completely different for our children. I can't even begin to imagine what things will look like twenty years from now.

I guess my issue is the feeling that "logging-off" or "detoxing" from technology kind of misses the point.  It's kind of like drugs or alcohol...if you have to "detox" from it, then that implies there's a problem or that you're using it wrong.  Like alcohol (and drugs), all this technology is not going anywhere.  Since that's the case, rather than eschewing what is reality, find the middle ground for you.

There's always something to work on, isn't there?  Then again, maybe I'm just an addict.  What do you think (rhetorical question - what do you think about technology, detoxing, etc.  As always, I'm interested in your thoughts)?  Don't answer that, Mom.

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New Year, New Goals...screw that, just bring on the POKER!

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This is the obligatory New Year's "serenity" picture

After all this time I bet you guys thought I was never gonna post again!  Blasphemy!

So...we went to Germany for the holidays and stayed with family for 16 whole days...ahem...therefore, while Germany was wonderful, you can imagine how we all got on each other's nerves.  Thank God we're family and hopefully everyone can recuperate by summertime so we can do it all over again (insert evil laugh and grin here my BFF SIL).*

 All I know is I go away for a few weeks and everything changes in the poker world.  Annie and Phil have left UB.  We're about to find out who Isildur1 is (whatever, can't even be bothered to figure out how to spell that).  Sebock** (maybe?  maybe not?  Either way, not too shabby, hombre) is sharing the pleasures of manscaping.  Harry Reid still can't get legislation passed.  Daniel Negreanu is judging yet another person about their life choices.  Wait a minute...ok, maybe some things haven't changed.

At any rate, here's hoping that 2011 will be a banner year for everyone.  What are your goals for the new year?  What are you doing to achieve those goals?  If you're planning to fly by the seat of your pants, I wish you well.  I generally do that, too, but am still working on my discipline which shall, forthwith, include, but shall in no manner be limited to, the following:

1. The continued blogging of  my travails (poker and otherwise) as the year progresses;
2. The persistent study of the game of NLHE poker via videos, books, regular play, @thewaxslinger***, and maybe a course with The Maven;
3. Testing the limits of stake-age and higher limit MTTs (with my pahdna @thewaxslinger)
4. Participation in live events, with at least one "travel out of town" tournament a month til the WSOP;
5. Oh my gosh I've gotta go on a diet;
6. Two weeks at this year's WSOP because I'm playing the ME baby (when I sat into it or sell enough pieces, that is); and last, but not least,
7. Love.  Love.  Love.  Love. Crazy Love.  CanNOT forget that.

My daughter's currently in a Hip Hop dance class (JAZZ HANDS!), Basketball, and Tumbling, and she rocks at all of it.  Plus, the day job and my Bahbee must receive fair recompense.  So...it's gonna be a great year people.  I hope for you, too!

Tell me what you're doing to improve your game, your life, your...sandwich?  I love hearing your comments and really appreciate that you take the time to write them.

Until next time, good luck at the tables, amigos.  And - Happy New Year!

* If you are reading this my BFF SIL, leave a comment. Luz you!
** Please, did you really think I would link to that??  My mom reads this blog!!
*** You really should start following her on twitter already.

Taking a Shot

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A few weeks ago, my friend Terry proposed a deal.  She wanted to stake me in some online tourneys, but she wanted me to play something higher than the $2.20's I've written about here previously.  "You sit on your ass for hours on end, wade through 5000 runners and are happy with a $20.00 payout.  I know you're insane AND a bankroll nit, but come on!  Don't you want to take a shot?"

I loved the idea.  First, as the Bling Blang Blaow boys already know, winning a tourney like the Sunday Million is every player's dream. Second, I feel like part of a team.  I know poker is an individual sport, but knowing that I've gotta be accountable for why I played a hand a certain way does make me stop and think.  Third, it's less of a financial risk for my own bankroll.  And, nit that I am, that's always good.  Fourth, it creates a requirement to do homework. Being staked by a buddy who's a poker player in her own right and seriously interested in strategy and play (and better at it than me), the set up created the perfect opportunity to go over hands together, to talk strategy, decision making, odds/outs, and all that stuff we've got to be thinking about when at the table.  And last but not least, I love me some Terry so how could I say no?

So, we're not doing this deal until the first of the year but...it got me itching to play some of those higher stake games.  Just TALKING about it with Terry caused me to throw caution to the wind.  I immediately bought into some $22, $33, $55, and even a $109 tourney.  It was crazy.  I cashed in a few and of course busted out of a lot.  I did that several days in a row.  I nearly decimated my bankroll.  I called Terry crying - "What the hell are we thinking?!  This is insane!!  I am a pitiful poker player, the definition of spewtard, and this is a stupid idea and we can't do this!"

She told me to quit crying and to calm down.  I stopped playing the higher stakes.  I went back down to my regularly scheduled micro-insanity levels and kept the dream of the bigger limit tourneys in my back pocket, knowing that the first of the year is right around the corner.

I kept reading strategy.  I kept talking hands with Terry.  I kept reading hands/strategy on skype with another group of players.  I played less tourneys at time and I played a lot fewer hands. Also during this time, I'd seen a video in which Annie Duke was sharing that when a poker player is running good, they tend to attribute it to skill; yet, when they're running bad, they attribute it to luck and lose out on an opportunity to study how they played the hand the way they did, which can only lead to improvement.  That stuck with me and I was going over my HEM hands like crazy - the ones I won AND the ones I played badly. 

I don't know if taking a shot at the higher levels helped me see that I was playing too many hands or what, but something happened during my short-lived time in those senior classes.  I found myself playing a very tight, aggressive style and just waiting. Folding.  Waiting.  Holding.  Folding.  Watching for the right spot - and then striking.  I found myself shortstacked so many times and just folding, folding, folding, only to strike with a hand and doubling, tripling up and being right back in the game.

I took that experience back to my freshman class games and played the exact same way.  And you know what happened?  I final tabled the Ladies game on back to back nights on Stars.  I came in 4th out of 5299 in a $5.50 $20k gtd, and cashed in 5 of 8 of the tourneys I played.

It was sweet, people.  Sweet. 

So...taking a shot is not good bankroll management.  We all know this.  But sometimes, good things besides just winning more money can come out of taking such shots.

I posted a tweet tonight after coming in 34th out of 5000 in a $2.20 tourney about finally knowing the secret to running deep in online tourneys. Well, you know there's no secret.  You've got to play well, have your good hands hold, and get lucky a time or two (or three or four).  What helped me, besides a few distractions like mess-eeng alound on twitter, posting dumb links and listening to my favorite music  (and bombarding followers with links to same) was taking the shots I took and then taking what I learned back down into the stakes my bankroll will allow.

That's what's happening of late.  I'm hoping it's going good for you, too.  If not, keep plugging away and try to find a good friend like Terry with whom you can talk pokers.  In the meantime, have a wonderful holiday season and good luck at the tables!

The Fate of Online Poker...uh...still up in the air

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UPDATE #1 - nevermind...for now?
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UPDATE #2 (7:04pm CST) -  Per Scarlet, expect it to live or die by week's end...follow her to stay informed.
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I tried my hand at poker animation and it failed miserably next to these guys.  Given my usual poker hand, that was standard, obv.

I direct you to that link in the hopes it will alleviate some of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that seems to be occurring as we wait and see what's going to happen to online poker (did you know when you Google 'online poker' Doyle's Room comes up first?  Wow...seo).

So.  Is the gnashing and wailing well founded?  Are recent events converging to deprive me of my own Mega Million poker (pipe) dream? Shut up. I already know Harry Reid's the least of my problems.

Rather than try to add my harebrained take on things, I'll point you to those that are doing it well:

F-Train has read, re-read, redlined, outlined, and lawyerized the regs and digested them into enjoyable bite sized morsels of poker info goodness.

Scarlet_lv has created a terrific hotlist for all things related to the Reid Bill, otherwise known as PIGIPRSUA, or 'piggiewannasignew' for stupid inside joke shorter.

Stuart Hoegner, of course,  is always a dapper font of information, man.

The Poker Players Alliance is recommending players get involved by calling 202-224-3121 and letting your Senator know you support poker. 

And of course, folks on the forums and the twitters have very interesting and sometimes very educated viewpoints on the subject.  There are also many other sources for info, most of which Scarlet has on her hotlist, so I apologize for not specifically including everyone here but she and Pokerati have got 'em there.

Enter the discussion!
 
I want to hear from some of you serious online bankrolled phenoms...are you withdrawing your funds already?  Making plans to do so soon?  Watching and waiting?

Fingers crossed and good luck at the tables, peeps.