All Hail ManChild King Tiny Hands

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Via Alexandra Petri and that bastion of fake news, the Washington Post:

I apologize to Donald Trump. As Sean Spicer so wisely said at his first news conference on Monday (It was the first. The one that happened on Saturday did not happen at all, and I recognize that!), it is unfair to be so mean and negative all the time. 

Here is the fair and unbiased story about the inauguration written in compliance with the Trump style guidelines that we should have been obeying all along. 

Nothing that has ever happened or will ever happen was as great as Donald Trump’s inauguration.

The crowd was magnificent and huge, bigger than any crowd had ever been before! It stretched all the way to the moon. The Pope, who was there, confirmed it.

“Thanks for being here, Pope,” Donald Trump told him.

“Are you kidding? You’re my best friend,” the Pope said. “I wouldn’t miss your big day for anything!” He gave Donald Trump a big high-five.

Everyone in the world had come there at great expense. They sold all their possessions — their homes, their “Hamilton” tickets, which were worthless to them — to raise money to come and see this great sight. They could not believe that a perfect being such as Donald Trump even existed. They thought that he was a myth or a legend or a decades-long series of fabrications.

But then they saw him, and their doubts fell away.

The media was there, too, and they were very sorry. “Donald,” the newscasters said, “we were mean to you. We used to laugh and call you names. We were no better than all of the other reindeer. How can you ever forgive us?”

“Forgive you?” Donald Trump asked. “I’ve already forgotten.” He smiled a big, beautiful smile. That was just who Donald Trump was: forgiving, like Jesus, but blond.

It was a wonderful start to the day.

Everyone liked Donald Trump’s speech and the words that he used. They liked even more the part where he rolled up his sleeve and showed off his bicep. It was a great bicep. It made the Rock so upset to see it that he threw something down on the ground and said “darn.”

Donald Trump pulled out a violin and played a solo, and then he pulled out a guitar and played an even sicker solo. The whole ground was soon covered with women’s undergarments. (Millions of women were there to support Donald Trump, and they were all AT LEAST sevens.) Also, every woman that Donald Trump had ever dated was there, and they were not upset with him, just ashamed that they had not lived up to his required standard.

“Trump! Trump! Trump!” the crowd cheered.

via PBS, so you know it's fake liberal news

Donald Trump touched many people in the crowd in a way that they all thought was welcome and appropriate, and he cured their ailments, from cancer to autism.

“If only we could bottle your touch,” someone said, “children could stop getting vaccinated altogether.”

Donald Trump winked. “Don’t worry!” he said. “I’m on it!”

Then Donald Trump served loaves and fishes to everyone there. There were enough loaves and fishes for everyone, and they all were Made in America and said “TRUMP” on them. It was like the Oscars, but also like Woodstock, but also like the Super Bowl, but also like the Sermon on the Mount. If you were not there, you should just go home and die, because nothing in your life will have purpose or meaning by comparison, not even holding your newborn child in your arms or having health insurance. This is what FOMO was talking about for all these years.

Bono, and Bruce Springsteen, and Elton John, and the Rolling Stones, and Beyonce, and all the top artists were there. They fought hard over who would be allowed to sing. Finally Bruce Springsteen won. Bono cried and cried, and the other artists had to console him. When Bruce Springsteen had finished singing, he walked over to Donald Trump, extended his hand, and said, “You are the only real hero left in the world.”

The people were so excited that they built a very special stone pyramid just for Donald Trump so that he would not have to wait until he died to see what his monument would look like. But they were silly to be concerned. Donald Trump will never die!

A little child was in the audience, and he started to cry because the emperor was wearing so many clothes. Also, he could tell that he was not and never had been racist.

Donald Trump’s beautiful big family was there. His favorite childhood dog was there, too, back from the farm where he still lives to this day.

Donald Trump can talk to the animals, and his eyes are lasers. When the floor is lava, Donald Trump can walk on it, but only Donald Trump. When Donald Trump points his finger at you, you have to lie down. But when other people point their fingers at Donald Trump, he does not have to. Donald Trump’s block tower is the biggest. He does not need a nap or a snack. He has the longest, biggest attention span. Everyone loves Donald Trump, and what he has to say interests them.

Donald Trump is the star. People love him.

He won the popular vote, too.

Courage. Compassion. Creativity.

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I listened to an interesting podcast today via Krista Tippett's On Being, in which it is pondered: Is America Possible? Tippett's guest was Vincent Harding who was, among many things, a trained historian, professor, civil rights pioneer, and colleague of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

As a teacher, Harding would begin class by having students listen to the song linked above in video, Ella's Song (Ella Baker), by Sweet Honey in the Rock. In his teachings and in the podcast, he posits that "when it comes to a multiracial, multiethnic, multireligious democractic society, we are still a developing nation." 

I think it's good to have our eyes opened to that fact and I think that's what happened to many of us Tuesday. 

I have been hurt and angry since that day. But really, what do I know about hurt and anger? There is a portion of the population feeling hurt and angry, too, and they did something about it by voting in a candidate they believe will address those hurts and that anger. If, like me, you are dismayed that good people, including friends, neighbors, and family members, could elect a man like Donald Trump, you have to ask yourself, what is it that I am missing? Because in a democracy like ours, their issues are our issues, just as ours are theirs.  

I don't have the answers, but I do know one thing and it's that the government is not and never can be the salve that heals our wounds. And looking to a governmental leader and expecting that is a losing proposition. I'm with pokergrump in thinking it would be great if 

...federal goverment played such a small role in our personal and national lives that when people we didn't like or trust got elected we could just shrug and get on with other more important things, secure in the knowledge that they couldn't do much damage.

For the people I know who voted for Trump, I know that's something they agree with. I guess, now that he's been elected, the question is whether Trump is a leader who can help bring about such a government. Time will tell.

In the meantime, each of us can do something. It's a cliche but it is a cliche that's true. If you want to see a change, you have to do something about it. Haranguing on Facebook, tweeteling on Twitter, picturing on Instagram just ain't gonna cut it. 

Pick one thing and start. Maybe it's your local chapter of the NAACP or the Boys and Girls Club. Maybe it's getting involved in local politics or volunteering at your church. Maybe it's as simple as shutting your mouth, refusing to argue, and simply listening, period, to family members, friends, and even strangers who think, act, and believe differently than you.

Maybe nothing will change. Maybe everything will change! Maybe the only thing that will change is you. But one thing leads to another and ripples can be far-reaching, and, man, aren't we still a young developing nation....

For me, that point was driven home Tuesday. And it's not because I'm a "special snowflake" who didn't get what I wanted. Apparently Clinton (or Johnson) was so horrible a candidate to stomach for a majority of voters that the Donald was an actual, viable, alternative. And I never thought I'd see that in my lifetime. 

So, yeah, we are still a developing nation and we still have ground to cover and "we who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes."

So. If you believe in freedom, what are you going to do about it?  

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho 

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans 

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, 

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. 

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth. 

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and 

purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

it is I you have been looking for,

and then goes with you every where

like a shadow or a friend.

-Naomi Shihab Nye

Why Are We Still A Nation of Sneetches?

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I found this video really moving...



You can find out a little more about Mr. Thurston at his web page.

For reference, The Sneetches is a book by Dr. Seuss.

Another Representative Responds

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So my Congressman, "Quico" Canseco, a former banker, had this to say to my plea to legalize online poker (to view it better, just click on the pic and it should pop out for easier reading):

Really, Quico? 

Sigh.  Lots of other, wiser, bloggers have opined at just how futile it is to write letters to representatives.  And while I do tend to agree, I'm also of a mind that if you don't ask, you don't get.  Plus, if you've read my blog since its inception, you know I like to write me some letters. 

All total, I wrote to Kay Bailey Hutchison, John Cornyn, Governer Rick Perry, Quico Canseco, Jeff Wentworth, and Lyle Larson. I've played poker with at least one of these individuals on several occasions in private, local games here in town (I'm curious if they'll be at the game Saturday). So far, only Kay Bailey and Quico have responded.  That's pretty lame, but I guess it's not surprising.

@PokerGrump had a great article (here), in which he says:

The only way to get the freedom to play poker genuinely secure in the long term is to achieve a broad consensus not about poker specifically, but on the general principle that we will be a truly free society, meaning one in which we do not seek to control each other's conduct. With the caveat that there be no use of fraud or force, people should be free to expend their money, time, and energy however the hell they choose to.

But how do we get to that point?  @PokerGrump's solution is to "elect people who agree that individual liberty is the paramount value, to be restricted as little as possible consistent with ordered society."

Would that it were that easy. 

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The Fate of Online Poker...uh...still up in the air

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UPDATE #1 - nevermind...for now?
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UPDATE #2 (7:04pm CST) -  Per Scarlet, expect it to live or die by week's end...follow her to stay informed.
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I tried my hand at poker animation and it failed miserably next to these guys.  Given my usual poker hand, that was standard, obv.

I direct you to that link in the hopes it will alleviate some of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that seems to be occurring as we wait and see what's going to happen to online poker (did you know when you Google 'online poker' Doyle's Room comes up first?  Wow...seo).

So.  Is the gnashing and wailing well founded?  Are recent events converging to deprive me of my own Mega Million poker (pipe) dream? Shut up. I already know Harry Reid's the least of my problems.

Rather than try to add my harebrained take on things, I'll point you to those that are doing it well:

F-Train has read, re-read, redlined, outlined, and lawyerized the regs and digested them into enjoyable bite sized morsels of poker info goodness.

Scarlet_lv has created a terrific hotlist for all things related to the Reid Bill, otherwise known as PIGIPRSUA, or 'piggiewannasignew' for stupid inside joke shorter.

Stuart Hoegner, of course,  is always a dapper font of information, man.

The Poker Players Alliance is recommending players get involved by calling 202-224-3121 and letting your Senator know you support poker. 

And of course, folks on the forums and the twitters have very interesting and sometimes very educated viewpoints on the subject.  There are also many other sources for info, most of which Scarlet has on her hotlist, so I apologize for not specifically including everyone here but she and Pokerati have got 'em there.

Enter the discussion!
 
I want to hear from some of you serious online bankrolled phenoms...are you withdrawing your funds already?  Making plans to do so soon?  Watching and waiting?

Fingers crossed and good luck at the tables, peeps.