Showing posts with label poker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poker. Show all posts

Friday, November 2, 2012

Flashbacks of a Fool



Got back from Choctaw last Sunday and given all the late night WSOP watching that occurred on Monday and Tuesday (through Wednesday morning!) of this week, I feel like I’m just now recovering. It doesn’t help that there are power tools stored all over my backyard, many of which begin running each morning at 6:30 a.m., as we are in the middle of remodeling a bathroom. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise that I tend to time my poker forays around instances bahbee gets the itch to remodel. As I said on Facebook, I’m a firm believer in the notion that if you and your partner can survive DIY remodeling, you can pretty much survive anything. Being gone for a large portion of said DIY remodeling helps (although it’s not something I recommend because it’s not really playing fair and kind of defeats the whole ‘staying together’ part of things).

Prior to the trip, I had not played a hand of serious poker, and had not studied up on same, for more than six months (aside from the one poker strategy session and game with @txcardslinger and @halltxholdem). So, it was a sketchy start to a promising weekend of some good poker.





If you’ve never been to Choctaw, well, all I can say is that it’s not Paradise Island, Bahamas,






but it’s also not Kickapoo in Eagle Pass.








The rooms were fine, the hotel is small, the food was terrible (except for the lone steak joint, more on that in another post), and the poker room was freezing. But, the tourney structure was a good value and the fields were such that we should have stood a chance.

There are a lot of good players around the Dallas/Oklahoma border and there were hoodied and head-phoned young men from Houston to Tulsa and all points in between. @txcardslinger and I drove down early on the morning of the 25th and made it in enough time to late reg the noon event and still have 40+ bbs to work with. Alas, it was merely a warm up - both of us busted to not much fanfare.

The interesting part of this first event to me was playing both TJ Cloutier and Scotty Nyguen (the birthday boy for whom the tourney was played). I mean, come on! They’re famous! They’re pros! A poker noob’s dream (theirs too, I’m sure). Wheeee!

Turns out, well, TJ’s a curmudgeon. I was able to play with him three separate times over four days and from what I saw, if he’s raising or re-raising pre, he’s got a monster hand. I didn’t see him play anything worse than Ts+ or AQo+ during all that time. (Which is why my later play against him was so shameful…but more on that later).

In addition, he rides the dealers hard. If he runs a few orbits and doesn’t catch a hand he feels he can play, he asks the dealer for a wash, which is not something the dealers were doing until they would move and rotate in to a new table. Refused by one dealer who had just washed the cards and dealt a few hands, TJ called the floor in a huff. Ultimately, the floor backed up the dealer, but TJ was not happy about it and he let everyone know it for the next ten hands.

TJ also had a tendency to blame the dealer if a hand he had beat on the flop caught up to him and beat him on the river. He told stories about this, remembering hands from 5 years ago. I remember the “5 years” part because when TJ brought up one particular story, that’s what the dealer said: “TJ! That was five years ago!” He knew the hands in play and what was in the pot, street by street, five years after the fact. It was pretty amazing, actually, but also kind of a bummer to see him rail on dealers the way he did. If TJ was not at the table, dealers were not shy about voicing their dislike.

Scotty, on the other hand, was universally praised by players and dealers alike. The tournament, billed as the Scotty Nguyen’s Dream Catcher World Poker Challenge, was being played in honor of his birthday (which he said was his 29th). Scotty is known by many as The Prince of Poker, but may be remembered most recently as something else entirely. Knowing that history, but also following him on Twitter where he just seems to be a sweetheart, I didn’t know what to expect.

What I saw was a true ambassador for the game. Obviously he had some interest in drawing a crowd, but I’m sure he didn’t have to work the room the way he did. Every day after the start of the noon event, Scotty walked around the entire room, posed for pictures, and made people feel welcome. In fact, he went to each table and shook four to five hands at each and every table in the room during play. Remembering names and faces from days prior and if you’d run deep the night before, he’d ask "how'd you make out, baby? You playing good, baby? Keep building that stack, baby!"

On my first day, I was seated immediately to TJs right at a 10-handed table and nearly doubled up right off the bat when I had to post the BB from LP as a late entry. Folded to me, I check with 5s. One caller and the blinds come along. I flop my set and get to hear BB count out some chips for a bet, “This will be your first mistake if you call this bet.” I look at my cards and call, saying, “well I just sat down, maybe I’ll get lucky, since I don’t really know what I’m doing here next to TJ!” Everyone else folds, and  BB seems confused, but unconcerned, by my call.

Turn gives him another opportunity to lead out, this time with “And this will be your second mistake.” I min-raise in silence and he reluctantly calls, while TJ says with a laugh, “I think she knows exactly what she’s doing.”

River pairs the board, giving me a boat, and BB checks to me. I put out a little less than half the pot. BB stammers and hems and haws, and finally says his two pair just got negated. He folds, and everyone waits to see if I’ll show (I don’t) and then proceeds to give BB hell, talking about how I either bluffed or had a monster. Two hands later I get moved to Scotty’s table.

As I said, he’s doing a lot of ambassadoring and since we’re not at antes yet, he’s not missing much by working the room and having the dealer fold him. When he does return from time to time, he raises blind, PF, and this induces some fun action  and crazy poker. He would raise pre and check to the callers. If they bet, he’d look at his cards (by flipping them up for all to see and then making his decision after that, often folding). He cracked As once doing that, and in one remarkable hand he went bust when he turned trip 7s to a guys FH (both checked the flop). Playing with him at that table was a blast. I was able to get him to rethink his blind PF raise when I was in the BB by kind of looking pitiful and shrugging at him right before he put in the chips – “but Scotty, it’s my big blind? Have pity!” He did! (I still lost the hand).

I ran deep in only one tournament and played acceptable (to my noobie standards anyway) in only two out of the four tourneys I played. I milked a short stack all day long in my third event, in a series in which I showed down only two hands during nearly six hours of play – a BB special early on (Ks, in which I got to tell the table: “well, that’s pretty much my range, boys”) and my bust out: Ac8c with less than 10 bbs, I called a Button raise that was essentially putting me all in. He had Q7o, but turned a Q, so that was all she wrote. I was 60%+ favorite going in (against your typical internet looking young dude who I assumed was playing as he should’ve been) and would make that call again all day long.

My last tournament (on Sunday) was a $50k guaranteed. There were a lot of young guys and as I sat there and profiled my table for the first hour, it was fun to watch real poker being played. I learned after the fact that two of the young men at my table had won previous tournaments at Choctaw in a past similar series. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was obvious they knew what they were doing and were thinking players. This helped me quite a bit, especially when I had position and was able to 3-bet (and even 4-bet shove on at least one occasion!), value bet rivers, and fold when beat. I was playing poker!

Or so I thought.

This kind of cocky thinking (i.e., me thinking for a second that I knew how to play) got me in trouble when I got moved to my final table, four seats to the right of TJ.

I was in fine shape: ~25 bbs and didn’t need to get crazy.

Yes, no need to get crazy.

Famous last words…

As I said before, I was able to watch TJ play in several hands where I could just observe. He played back at aggressive, younger players only when he had a real hand, and his mode of defense was to raise (or reraise) 5 and 6 times the original bet/raise. He would often show these hands to make clear, “I ain’t messing around!” And he wasn’t.

He would check/fold flops when he didn’t hit.

He would bet flops when he connected or when his hole cards had the best of it post flop.

Fairly transparent, right? Seemingly easy to play, right?

Right.

To sane players - maybe. To spewtards like me - not so much. This is why it's so hard to stomach my playing a hand against him out of position (from the BB no less) with a truly horrific holding.

Now, I hadn’t been at the table long and so the only one I really had any info on was TJ. Normally, I sit tight, watch and learn, and try to get some reads before I start getting involved in things. But no…I had just been playing poker with the big boys and holding my own! I knew what I was doing! I am a poker player!

Not only was I feeling (too) good, I was talking at this table, and I rarely talk, unless I’ve been there awhile or am trying to make friends with the person on my left.

I hadn’t even been there long enough for any of that to be the case. Oh no, instead, I was Miss Chatty Cathy. And on this particular hand, the player on my immediate right (the SB), is also female, so OF COURSE I feel the need to lean over to her, as the dealer deals the hand, and say: “Just so you know, we are sitting here with targets over our head at this table.” She smiles and nods, and guys down on the button and CO kind of laugh and nod, “yes, yes you are.”

Har, har, har, I’m thinking…I know what you guys are doing. And now that I’ve said that – you guys know that I know that’s what you’re doing. Harumph. I’m sooooo smart. Watch out!

So…it folds to TJ in LP and he puts out a 4xBB raise. Button calls, folds to me and I look at (oh god I don’t even want to say) 8s5s.

Fold, right? (Yes. Fold. Please. For the love of God, FOLD).

"I call!"


Flop comes 286r.

I check. TJ bets the pot. Button folds. I count out my chips and tell myself “He’s playing AK. I’ve got him here. If I shove, he’s folding.”

“I’m All In!”



TJ snap calls as fast as he can (he has Ks) and starts dragging the pot as the board plays out and I don’t improve (which is actually a good thing because he would’ve torn me a new one if I’d turned or rivered two-pair or a flush, and rightfully so).

It was embarrassing. There were guys at the table who watched it play out with their mouths hanging open in shock.

I think I clapped my hands (applauding my stupendous play, I guess) before jumping up, grabbing my bag, and walking off as fast as I could.

I was mortified.

I immediately went outside to the parking lot and walked about five miles, all while asking myself “What the ______ was THAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

Out loud.

About fifty times. As I paced back and forth in an empty portion of the parking lot.

I saw one poor guy smoking on the corner pick up his phone, probably to call the paddy wagon, because I was clearly acting like a crazy lady. He probably thought I lost the mortgage at the slots.

No sir...just my dignity and pride.

It was bad. Real bad.

@txcardslinger and I had planned to stay the night (we'd hoped that one of us could run deep), but when I texted to ask if she wanted to stay or go, it seemed we both couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

We packed quickly and in silence (this is why packing with paper bags can sometimes come in handy. #youmightbearedneckif) and didn’t talk for the first 45 minutes of the ride. I was still steaming with embarrassment and didn’t want to tell her how bad it actually was.

The silence was good, soothing.

It really helps to have a friend in the middle of these things and @txcardslinger is one of the best. When I was finally able to talk about the hand, she did the best thing she could’ve done – she laughed her ass off.

And rightfully so. Rightfully so.

In the face of these facts, and the play at this week's WSOP Final Table, it seems so damn far fetched to think that someday she and I could be laughing our asses off at a final table we’ve won. Far fetched, sure. But I know we're going to keep trying.

-----

The title of this post is appropriate given the poor play I exhibited throughout much of the tourney. It’s also the title of one of my favorite movies of all time. Most people know Daniel Craig today because of the James Bond franchise, but this is one of his lesser known works that I think is better than all the Bond movies combined. The story it tells implies that even when our choices lead to really bad outcomes, we can learn from our mistakes and be better. After this trip, I sure as hell hope that’s true.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Things I Did this Week



I should probably change the title of this post to "things I tweeted this week" because in reality I haven't actually *done* much this week. Which is sad. Not sure what my younger self thought being a grown-up was all about, but one thing I do (now) know: there's a ton of laundry involved.

I guess one of the biggest things I "did" was talk with my seven year old about Amanda Todd. We watched her video and just talked.

Maybe because I have a daughter...maybe because I, oh I don't know, am a member of the human race...I cried. This story is just so sad. At any rate, we talked about things.

My daughter, she had some insightful questions and thoughts. The last one being: "This means I'm not getting a phone until college, doesn't it?"

Yep. Yep it does.*
-----
And then I read about Violentacrez via Jess Welman.

First admission is this: I never really got into reading Reddit because I have no idea what it is or how to use/navigate it. I did not know it was "the front page of the internet" (because this is the front page of my internet). I guess I just thought of it as 2+2 for non-poker-playing-people-but-mainly-nerdy-guys.

After reading the Gawker article, I'm pretty sure I still don't know what Reddit is. It seems to kind of boil down to this:
Under Reddit logic, outing Violentacrez is worse than anonymously posting creepshots of innocent women, because doing so would undermine Reddit's role as a safe place for people to anonymously post creepshots of innocent women.
Yeah, no. Reddit's just not for me.
-----
And then there was Amy Cheong, former Assistant Director with the National Trade Union Congress (it sounds so official but I have no idea what it means) who, like Violentacres, lost her job after posting something online. 



She not only lost her job - she had to flee her country! 

Point is...: once we put something on the internet, it's there for good (or for ill).**
-----
This time last week (so technically not a "things I did this week" point of discussion, but just give me a moment because I will connect the dots dot dot dot), was National Coming Out Day. NCOD, not to be mistaken with/for NKOTBSB, is basically a day when otherwise closeted gay people can "come out" of the closet and tell the people around them, "I AM GAY", thereby raising the consciousness of straight people that gay people a) do exist; and, b) are not all in bed sexing it up all hours of the day and night. We only do that 17 out of 24 hours of each day. For the record.

In response to NCOD, Ann Coulter tweeted: 

Class act, that Ann Coulter. Not real sure why she, a straight, 50-year old, unmarried, non-parent of neither son nor daughter, gay or straight, is talking about this issue.*** But, I will tell you from experience that she's right. In far too many instances, the day after a kid comes out is often "disown your [gay kid] day" for a lot of confused and embarrassed parents. 

I was twenty-two when I came out to my folks. I've always had a very close relationship with them and I love them very much. And, I know they love me very much. 

That said - the days after I came out to them was pretty much as Ann Coulter said - dispwnage! (see how I connected those dots? And, arguably, mangled used a word from 2+2?)

After telling my mom (ok, comparing myself to Jodie Foster, actually, in the hopes that my mom would be heartened by the fact that gay people are/can be productive members of society****), who cut short her trip and returned home at the crack of dawn the next day, I got an emotional phone call from my dad in which he said a lot of things, including the words "heaven" and "hell" and...well, then we didn't speak for about six months. 

As I said, I was twenty two. I had already graduated college. I had a job. I lived in a city far away from where I'd grown up. I had friends and resources. 

And still.

And still....A less resilient me might not have survived the stories I was telling myself in the days, but mainly the nights, after I came out to the people I loved the most. 

Far better people than me don't. 

Ms. Coulter is not helping in that arena. 

But when you re-read her tweet and think about it? Well, I guess she's just kind of telling the truth. 
-----
And the last road leads back to poker. Ah, don't they all?

Yesterday, Donnie Peters wrote a very nice op-ed piece in PokerNews, in which he raises some most excellent points: 
What I'm getting at here is that poker no longer seems to be fun. It's not as fun for the players, it's not as fun for the media, and it's not as fun for the fans. The latter of that trio is the most important part and something that needs attention.
I read the piece and very much enjoyed it and fired off with: 

I wish I didn't feel that way and I probably shouldn't have tweeted it, but...I do. And I did. Unfortunately, I'm kind of an asshole, too (ask my brothers), so...there's that. 

The point is...well, I'm not sure there is a point. Except, maybe...wouldn't it be nice if there were just no assholes? Anywhere? Ever?*****


----
* No, Judge Judy, the gist of our talk did not revolve around whether she's getting a phone and there was nothing lighthearted about our discussion of a beautiful child who killed herself. After sitting in silence for sixty seconds or so, though, my daughter did ask, after the light bulb flashed on over her head, whether this meant she might not actually get a phone until college, even though some of her friends have phones now. Smart phones are awesome. BUT THEY'RE JUST FREAKING PHONES AND NO ONE pointstoself EVEN USES THEM TO ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER ANYMORE. And the answer is yes, you're not getting a phone until college.

** She says all ironical and stuff since here I am posting it to the interwebz where it's going to be forever. And ever. And ever....Also, where is "Gay World Park" and how can I get there?

*** This is not a backhanded insult to Ann Coulter's age, singleness, or lack of children. I am genuinely confused as to why this woman, who has no personal experience raising children or being married, has been given a platform to speak about either of these issues. Ever.

**** Yes, in hindsight, I realize that "Hollywood Celebrity" was really not the way to go. Also, yes, I know Jodie Foster is still, to this day, officially, in the closet. I was twenty-two and she was the only positive-ish gay-ish role model-ish I could think of at the time. What can I say? smh

***** Well, yeah, except on our bums, of course. ldo

***

Friday, April 6, 2012

Poker...



Via The Micros YouTube channel

I so miss playing and talking pokers...this was a good day.


***

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Games



As I come to the tail end of my twitters and FB sabbatical, I'm finding that some things have changed with respect to my social media diet (and my thoughts on same), but I recognize that my displaced habit simply manifested in new ways.

Namely, I just channeled a lot of energy into Instagram (which was pretty much my only other social media outlet, besides email and blogging). But, life also happened and without constantly looking into my iPhone screen (or laptop or desktop screen), I found I read more, did more, and was present more.

But...the thing is, social media is just part of our landscape today. And I like it. I've made some really good friends via social media and I really wouldn't want to trade that for anything.

Understatement of the year - Twitter is a great source for news. But, it's a constant streaming of "eye-bites" that unless you do a little (or a lot) of digging on your own, can often lead to a really distorted picture of what that piece of "news" is really all about.

One way I've counteracted the loss of Twitter "news" during my day was to subscribe to two newspapers that I now read over breakfast or before going to bed. One is my local paper (the San Antonio Express News) and the other is the New York Times. I'm aware (at least via my folks) of a bias against the Times for being a liberal rag, but I find it excellent. A very wide array of news, entertainment, opinion, that reaches globally. I've enjoyed the heck out of my subscription to date.

I bring up these two reading items to say that one downside I've discovered from my Twitter usage was just that I'd stopped reading as much as I used to, and I hate that. I think there's a lot to be said about the many stories of late that have come out illustrating how much our attention span is impacted by using things like iPads, and iPhones, and other electronic devices to read everything from books, to work documents, to our newspapers. For me, anyway, I do find myself in the middle of a kindle book, or news story, and if I want to look something up, it's just a swipe of the finger to connect me to the internet, which can lead to indiscriminate surfing or gaming, and before I know it, an hour's passed and I haven't returned to the book, or the article, or the whatever.

It's an issue. And apparently, it's changing the way my brain works (and your brain, too!). I'm reading The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains right now, and it's some interesting stuff.

Then, last night, I read this great piece from the Times that realllllly resonated with me. If you've ever found yourself inexplicably drawn for the kajillionth time to a game of Angry Birds or Words with Friends or, my personal favorite, Land Grabbers (don't judge me), it'll probably resonate with you, too. It's called Just One More Game...Angry Birds, Farmville, and Other Hyperaddictive 'Stupid Games'. And, it even has a poker component that I find amusing.

The author, Sam Anderson, makes some great points. One, simply being his description of the iPhone itself: they're "sophisticated game console(s)" that otherwise non-game playing consumers can now carry around and interact with at all hours of the day and night.

Think about people you know on Facebook who you constantly "see" playing Farmville or the Sims. This stuff is addictive, and Anderson tries to find out why.

He writes:
Stupid games, on the other hand, are rarely occasions in themselves. They are designed to push their way through the cracks of other occasions. We play them incidentally, ambivalently, compulsively, almost accidentally. They’re less an activity in our day than a blank space in our day; less a pursuit than a distraction from other pursuits. You glance down to check your calendar and suddenly it’s 40 minutes later and there’s only one level left before you jump to the next stage, so you might as well just launch another bird.
Hmmm. I know the feeling.

The poker component comes in at the tail end of the article, when Anderson spoke to Frank Lantz, the creator of a game (Drop7) that had overtaken Anderson's life. Lantz claimed that poker was the game to which he had the deepest relationship. To him, poker was:
...like a tightrope walk between this transcendently beautiful and cerebral thing that gave you all kinds of opportunities to improve yourself — through study and self-­discipline, making your mind stronger like a muscle — and at the same time it was pure self-destruction. There’s no word for that in English, for a thing that does both of those at the same time. But it’s wonderful.
I can definitely relate to that, too.

Anderson ultimately concludes that 'stupid games' "force us to make a series of interesting choices about what matters, moment to moment, in our lives."

With an iPhone or other mobile device constantly at the ready, it seems to me (from experience) that it's easier than ever to leave 'real life' decisions to later in favor of one more drawing, or one more level, or one more...something in whatever game I find myself then immersed...that, ultimately, really just doesn't matter.

And at what cost? Seems to me that as these devices become more and more prevalent in our society, the people who are better able to compartmentalize and detach will be the purveyors (of what?) to those that can't.

At any rate, just some food for thought. One thing that's been a blast in helping me to 'detach' is my daily trail chronicle, which I've been keeping a record of over on Instagram.

This is from today (I'm never gonna be able to get a job as a camera person in Hollywood, that's fer dang sure. Back story, over the past couple of days, I've come across a nest with chicken-size eggs. Before Tuesday, the nest has always been unattended, and what started out as four eggs, turned into seven. Maybe she's now sitting on babies?):



*** 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Kind of a Big Heel



Via HardBoiled Poker 
Funny how even without Twitter or FB, the most trivial of poker brouhahas can still find itself on your radar.

Someone sent me a link to this particular part of the 2+2 thread and while I have no way of knowing whether or not it's a photoshopped pic, it sure made me laugh.

Aye, pobrecita...



As Jerry Maguire said, we live in a cynical world. A cynical, cynical world. And it's only getting cynical-er. Not a word, but you know what I mean.

Social media is great, but it is of no help when it comes to defeating cynicism. Instead, it's a great breeder for same. This post is an excellent example. Le sigh.

Point is, there are no heroes in poker. Just as there are no heroes in the real world (or are there?). For under the white hot microscope of the interwebz, we are all burnt up in its searing, probing, privacy invading light.



Monday, March 5, 2012

Cue, Routine, and Reward



Got a call from my poker coach last week and plan to have lunch with him and a focus group tomorrow regarding online poker. It was a timely call because on Friday I was really missing my days of grinding MTTs. Man, those were the days.

I don't know what will come of the focus group, but I don't really care because it will be nice to see Jeff again, as well as talk poker with some grinders who were doing it for a living. I haven't played the game, much less talked about it, in forever, and I really miss it.

In thinking about my "grinding days" (oh so frustrating, because I'd just gotten really serious, organized, scheduled - all the stuff I should've been from the start, but wasn't), I was struck (yes, still, even after all these months) by the void the loss of the ability to engage in the habit created.

Since the first of the year, I've been thinking about "habit" a lot. Probably just an off-shoot of still coming to grips of with the loss of the ability to play, which is sad when I think about it because from April to January, that's nine months of limbo. But it is what it is. I may be the Speed Racer of driving, but not of living, it seems.

Still, I have been trying to implement some new and different habits into my days as of the first of the year. This month marks the beginning of the end of 2012's first quarter and what I've been sticking to regularly is my daily trail walks, reading, and writing. Everything else...well, I'm a work in progress, I guess.

Anyway, one of my regular reads pointed me to this interesting video about habits and I thought I'd share it:


I like the way he breaks down habit into an analysis of Cue, Routine, and Reward.

Gives me something (else) to think about as I continue wrestling with this thing I get to call my life. Who knows, maybe this time next year (or the following), I'll have it figured out.

Or not.

How about you?

***

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Reading, Writing, and...more reading...



I'm so sad that on the day I logged on without much thought and banged out a trifling post about "happiness" that some of my friends got impacted by the bankruptcy of the Epic Poker league.

It's all well and good to emote on what "happiness" may or may not be (and all, surely, just my opinion, you understand), but deep down we all know (whether we've ever heard of Maslow or not) that our most basic of needs have to be met before feelings of pleasure or satisfaction and contentment (i.e., "happiness") mean a whit.

Sadly, there's just not a lot of happiness going on in the poker industry these days. No wonder everyone's yelling and blogging serious, finger pointing posts, and hard hitting (ahem) vlogs! Indeed, it's hard out here for a playa, to paraphrase that old chestnut of an Oscar winning tune.

Martin over at Hard-Boiled Poker has a nice write up about the "epic fail." I'm looking forward to his thoughts on what he was initially going to tackle - a Village Voice article that discusses how Black Friday decimated livelihoods and a multi-billion dollar industry. Man, aren't we feeling those effects today...I hate it.

I'm now two weeks or so into my "no social media" fast and I can tell you I've learned some things during this time. I plan on sharing some of that with you at a later date, but suffice it to say that the "giving up" of anything generally just means you just fill it with something else. For me, that's meant I'm just doing a lot more reading. Of blogs and real books and e-books and even the back of cereal boxes, tbh.

One blog that I really enjoy is Brain Pickings. Spending some time there this week is what prompted yesterday's ill-timed happiness post (although I don't believe "happiness" can ever really be ill-timed, it can certainly be not-so-well-met, and given the news of Epic's bankruptcy, well...you know what I mean).

I point you to the site (that I ultimately just bookmarked) because they've always got stuff that makes me think. Today's post, in particular, has a nice listing of books that I'm putting on my "To-Read!" list (scroll down, under the third poster, the recommendations begin).

On Tuesday, I posted a link to a Seth Godin manifesto about education. In it, Godin highlights his belief that in today's uber connected world, reading and writing are the two skills most likely to "pay off with exponential results."

Now, I'm not sure exactly what he means by that, but I do get that
...reading is the way we open doors. If our economy and our culture grows based on the exchange of ideas and on the interactions of the informed, it fails when we stop reading.
Right now, I'm in the middle of a few books (ADD much?), but two are keeping my interest. One is Lisa Bloom's "Think" and the other is Gary Vaynerchuk's "Crush It." And, of course, I continually read and re-read Tendler's "Mental Game of Poker" (online poker is coming back, people. Someday...).

At any rate - there are some good works on the Brain Pickings site and I figured I'd shine a light on the listing in case anyone else might enjoy a good read during these dark days of poker in which we find ourselves.

What about you? What are you reading? Why are you reading it/liking it?

I'm always looking for good reads (and a good old-fashioned trash/beach novel is always welcome, too!) so share 'em with me! Please? For reals...this is how I'm filling my off social media time, so...help a sista out!

***

Monday, February 13, 2012

Substance Over Form



Charles Mingus
Do you remember when you first started playing poker? Maybe you got to sit on your dad's lap around the kitchen table as he penny anted into a family pot. A literal "family" pot because everyone else around the table was actually part of your family.

Or maybe you were in your dorm room playing against your college buddies. Or on lunch break in high school.

Or maybe you didn't pick it up until after the Moneymaker boom and your first foray into the game was online.

Either way, if you're serious about the game - you study, you think about it, you talk hands with friends, you run flips through PokerStove, watch videos, get coaching, and likely track your play through a stat program like PokerTracker or on a yellow legal notepad sitting by your computer or on an iPhone app like PkrCruncher or PokerJournal.

Always looking to improve, right?

Good things, all.

But what about in other parts of your life?

Wouldn't it be great if we also worked as hard on the rest of the pieces of our lives as we do on our game, or our jobs, or our families, as the case may be?

It's easy to overlook the things that are not fun to work on...relationships, our health and basic exercise, the house (and crap like laundry - omg, have you ever noticed it is never ending...it just keeps piling up and no matter how much I like my favorite pair of jeans, I do have to wash them at some point. Not to mention the fleeting freshness that can be wrung from a pair of clean underwear. And don't even get me started on the laundry that piles up when you're responsible for an entire family's worth. Ugh...).

If you want to be good at something - anything - there are certain things that are true. You're going to have to work at it. You're going to have to be committed. You're going to have to make time for it, be dedicated to it, and maintain singular focus. Above all, you're going to have to work. Hard.

And in that process, if you keep to the simple, the basics, the fundamentals, you can, over time, craft something really beautiful. Across the spectrum of individuals working on the same thing, that something beautiful will be as different and as varied as imagination can fathom.

That's what's amazing about dedication to a craft. And it doesn't matter if the "craft" is medicine, art, music, the law, or poker. You spend a lifetime working on it - you're going to make something beautiful.

But, you can't get sidetracked. Disregard the fluff. Avoid the easy and/or the people who only say "yes" or tell you what you want to hear.

Watching the Grammys last night, I couldn't help but wish that someone had told some of that to some of the artists performing (um...Nikki Minaj springs immediately to mind because my brain is forever scarred after seeing that performance. But it could apply equally to Lady Gaga who sat in the audience with some weird fishnet over her face or the gal who showed up as a female cyborg or even Katy Perry and her Russell Brand dissing self).*

In the end, Adele Adkins walked away with a sackful of awards, all (six of six!) of which were bestowed upon her for one really simple, timeless, reason: she's got a true talent in a voice that doesn't need any digital enhancement or weird theatrics to entertain. It's honest, pure, and real.

It doesn't always happen, but sometimes we get lucky and see substance win over form. And that's what happened last night on the Grammys.

Simplicity. Honesty. Realness. These things resonate with us because it's what we want. In our lives, in our relationships, in ourselves.**

When I look at these concepts and then look at today's poker world, I see that the characteristics apply just as equally and simply. The "schtick" that creates a flash of excitement, whether it's branding like being "the brat" or "the kid" or "the magician" or "the mouth" or what have you, only carries you so far. All of those things are good for marketing. But they don't help you win tournaments. (that said, just look at the brat's (Phil Helmuth) results in this last year's series to know that he's definitely committed to working on his game and it showed, didn't it? And with the collapse of UB and lack of patching, there wasn't a lot of grandstanding going on this year...I mean, when I think about it, I didn't see any "brattiness". Instead, his play was textbook substance over form.)

Maybe that's the one true thing we can take from Black Friday. A lack of the ability to profit from anything other than just good solid play is requiring a return to just that...the basics.

And maybe that's a good thing.

Find what resonates with you and stick with it. It will change your life.

***


* I readily admit - I am old.

** Ok, maybe I'm only speaking for myself, but it's my blog so shut it.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Contest and Contemplation



So CheckRaze, a site for poker enthusiasts, sent me a tweet the other day letting me know that my blog had been selected for teh votingz in a category they're calling - "Favorite Poker Blog."

That's so cool - thank you CheckRaze, and whatever crazy person(s) suggested this blog for your consideration. (The check is not in the mail. Bankroll management, people.)

Getting a nod for blogging made me contemplative. I went back and looked at those posts I liked the most and what some of these stat programs say have been read by you guys the most. Since I've never done a year-end review or a look-back in the (relatively short) time I've been writing here, I figured now might be a good time for some of that.

So...here's what google statistics says are the top five posts from my blog since its inception on June 13, 2010:

RENAMED BLOG POST

"Renamed" b/c it was initially titled  "xx SEX xx" and that's the only reason it got so many hits. In this post, I was basically railing against sexism and misogyny in the poker industry. Pretty, sexy, hot, smart, strategic, cunning, and also good at poker, are not mutually exclusive concepts. Word.

An Open Letter to Daniel Negreanu

Meh.

This whole interaction was interesting to me on many levels. 1 - as a fan (Daniel is one of the most entertaining figures in poker and he is the main reason I signed up for twitter (he was the first player I followed)), I couldn't believe one of the top ambassadors of the game was referring to another top ambassador in such an ugly manner. 2 - as a woman, I couldn't believe he'd used such a gross word. It reeked of misogyny (wow, I sense a pattern). 3 - as a person, I couldn't believe he was so reluctant to apologize, even if it was an unguarded moment caught on tape. Ultimately, he did quasi-kinda apologize "to women" in an interview with Kimberly Lansing, but his pride and hatred of Duke (which he squarely owns and seems quite proud of) kept him from apologizing to her. 4 - a lot of people dislike Duke and so that seemed to make the awful stuff he said ok (which kind of makes it worse, imo).

Daniel is a helluva poker player and his resolve to continually improve his game is admirable. What I like about Daniel is that he speaks his mind, but sometimes that seems to get him into trouble. I guess they don't still call him "kid" for nuthin'.

Artist: Margaret W. Tarrant

The Ivey Impact

Right before the WSOP last year, Phil Ivey touched off a firestorm by announcing on his FaceBook page that he would be foregoing the series and, ohbytheway, filing suit against Full Tilt Poker and his former business partners. Lots of people seemed to like this one, but it was really @Grange95 who got me thinking on it after he tweeted: "Ivey's lawsuit is 99.44% about Ivey's contract, non-compete clause, & funds on Full Tilt. Other players? Lip service." As true today as it was then.

Where's Nike? Where's Pepsi? Where's Apple?...indeed.

In which I bemoan the industry's inability to get its shit together on either the regulation front and/or the advertising/sponsorship front. But mainly - let's be honest - I was listening to Dennis Phillip and Paul Harris's Final Table Radio Show because Kara Scott was on. Just like the rest of y'all - don't lie. She and Paul Harris made some great points about product placement and advertising and viola...this post.


Pics Or It Didn't Happen - Vegas 2011 Photo Dump

One of my favorite posts of all time because a) photographic evidence that I got to meet the likes of Kara Scott, Jennifer Newell, Doyle Brunson, and my soul mate, AlCantHang, among so many awesome others; and, (b) Pauly commented and made my day.

What a damn fun time. Damn fun, I tell you.






My personal faves don't always deal with poker. Sometimes they deal with things like faith, loved ones, my passions, my problems, and the funny. Oh, and my parents. But of those that do have to do with poker, my faves are probably this, this, and this, and all of the Poker(Proust) Qs (Maria Ho, kevmath, Shane Schleger, and Kim Shannon).

You can vote, or not, as you're so inclined, at CheckRaze's site and this link here (to do so, you will have to sign in and give them your email address and I have no affiliation with them, for the record. Also - a "vote" is to comment, not necessarily to click on any of the links, it seems?). But if nothing else, I do hope you'll check out the really excellent blogs that are nominated, many of which are my personal faves (a few that I also follow that aren't on the list, but which totally should be and I encourage you to check out, are Stacey Nutini, Phil Galfond, pokergrump, and John Kim).


It really doesn't get much better than these folks:

Dan Michalski - Pokerati
Martin Harris - Hard-Boiled Poker
James Atkins - Atkinator
Matthew Pitt - Betfair Poker Blog
Pauly McGuire - Tao of Poker
Daleroxxu - Daleroxxu
James Guill - Pokerjunkie
Shane Schleger - Shaniaconline
Nathan Williams - BlackRain79

To include me in with the likes of these guys is, let's be honest, kinda head shaking. But I appreciate it. And I appreciate you all for reading here. Thanks, guys.

Over and out for now...

***

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Turn the Camera



I'm on the plane from Vegas. The ride in was hell. I wouldn't say I'm a white knuckle flyer, but even a little turbulence gets me antsy. So far, the ride home is smooth.

I have to admit, this was the first Vegas trip I embarked on that I wasn't fully gung-ho to start. I was missing my family before I'd even left. While I always miss them when we're apart, this time the ache was deeper and, honestly, it was such that I didn't want to go. A friend said, "Oh, that just means you're going to win big!" I hoped she was on to something and, since the tickets were already purchased and everything already planned, I carried on. I did finally admit to @txcardslinger how I was feeling, but not until we'd already taken off. Strangely enough, she said she'd been feeling the same way! And with that mindset we set out on our poker adventure.

Our mutual malaise about this trip got me thinking...neither of us have played much poker since Black Friday so we came in pretty rusty. Like so many recreational online poker junkies (fish?), we went from splashing around online with regularity (a generalization, really, because we were quite serious in our scheduling, tracking, studying, and endless discussing of teh online pokers), to twiddling our thumbs and jonesing for something to fill the void. To be honest, that scene of Ballz in The Micros bashing her head on her desk hits a little too close to home for the both of us.

Where there was once a time that we spent hours going over hands and spots, losses or scores, now there is just the aching void left from a daily habit that cannot be filled absent high-tech shenanigans. And what's the point of that? I'm no Tom Dwan. Why try to back door a way online if I'm only going to be playing regulars and pros anyway, you know? Seems really -ev to me, but...what do I know.

And I mean really...what do I know? The reality is that I missed the online poker boom of the Chris Moneymaker era. At dinner one night during this recent Vegas trip, I had the opportunity to visit with some people who did not miss out on that wave, but who also helped me see that, really, I have.

Poker isn't "over" by any stretch of the imagination and I agree with @PokerScar that Black Friday has served the industry with a much needed reset button, from which (over the next 3-5 years) a whole new landscape will emerge. But, if 3-5 years turns out to be how long it ultimately takes before the industry reboots, well, that "reset" has stolen years of really valuable training time from me that's very hard to offset with sporadic home games and tournament treks to Vegas (or Oklahoma or Louisiana, both of which are closer, but still require travel).

And let's face it, all those trips mean time away from home, away from my daughter and the belle. It's one thing to be doing that and be a Jason Mercier or a Vanessa Selbst. It's an altogether different picture when you're a middle-aged mom/partner with an actual job and responsibilities trying to do the same. Feels kind of grim, addictive-y, degenish. And, yes, quite pie-in-the-sky. But, hey, I'll own that...because sometimes I am grim, addictive-y, degenish. And I do love me some pie.

Thinking on these things on the ride home, I pull out the January 2012 Bluff magazine that I picked up in the airport and begin to read. Three articles really stood out.

One is a contemplative piece from Jennifer Tilly.  Assessing her poker playing, she was reminded of some advice she gave a friend going through a bad relationship: 
"...if you are unhappy more than 50% of the time you should consider [getting a divorce]." Lately for Tilly, it seems she's finding poker like that bad relationship. "Right now poker only makes me happy 30% of the time. So...maybe I should get out?"
In the same issue, her partner Phil Laak shares another viewpoint.  In eschewing "the man" (ie, poker "turnys"), Laak has found revitalized joy in his cash game pursuits.

But even while sharing this newfound zeal for "cash games galore," Laak describes what I think is at the crux of things for the vast majority of those of us toiling in poker tourney grindage (and it's subsequent obscurity): 
Binking a turny or two ruins you for life....What happens is that you get trapped by the memories of how sweet it was. That moment where you were the last man standing and made the maximum cheese. These memories overwhelm me and I break down time after time. I walk up to the cage, buy my ticket, and wonder why I am wasting my time.
Can you relate?

Sure you can. Every poker player I know can recount, sometimes hand for hand, the final table war he or she endured to take down the top spot. And as Laak points out, the memory of that glory is what keeps you going, buy in after buy in, bust out after bust out, time and time again.

Doesn't matter whether it was a $65 Nugget event or the home game in your neighbor's garage or the World Series Main event. That feeling of poker victory after hours (or days) of grinding is the holy grail for each of us. It's not about the money. It's about the blood and the guts and the sweat and the tears of the slog. At the end of it all, you just want to win.

Says Laak, 
So why is it I torture myself? Because kids, I am also a sick man. I am a sadist, I am a masochist and I am all that lies in between. I play the next turny in the hopes that it will be the next big kill, the one where everything will just fall into place and I will dominate...I will win it.
I can relate. It's exactly why I play. Isn't it the same for you?

The third interesting piece is by Alec Torelli. Why this one stuck with me is because of a comment Jen Newell (@WriterJen) shared with me when I was whining about my lack of success one morning over breakfast.

It has to do with Stacey Nutini (@lasvegaspokers).  If you're not following Stacey, go do it now and then go read her blog post about "nice guys (not) finishing last" and you'll get a sense of who she is and why Jen's comment is so spot on (and also why it all also relates to Torelli's Bluff article).

Stacey is "living the dream," which is to say she is attacking poker like she's a first year associate for Wachtell or an investment banker on Wall Street or a first year medical resident. Forget any negative connotations about the professions I'm using here; my point is, Stacey is busting her ass. Poker is not just her j.o.b., it's her profession. And she is doing everything in her power to become the best of the best, working just as hard - if not harder - than those white shoe traders, lawyers, doctors, and banker types (and those people work 24/7).

In her arsenal are sound bankroll management, game selection, continual poker education ("CPE"? Lawyers call it CLE), a monster work ethic, discipline, passion, and attitude. And to be the best, you've got to have all those things.

The reason I bring up Stacey is because Jen reminded me, in the face of my whinage, about Stacey's efforts and how she grinds these tourneys.  And if she busts, she grinds cash, but mainly - she stays positive. It's hard, but she does.

From experience, I know she does - Exhibit "A", she busted a circuit event this past weekend and was able to come out and share a drink and some laughs and engage in conversation without body chopping any of us or sharing even one single bad beat story. Girl's got her head on straight and it's an admirable trait.

I'm glad Jen reminded me of that when I took to whining. Whining's easy. Moving on (next!) is where it's at.

And that brings me back to Torelli's Bluff article. In it, he discusses decision making and opines that making money isn't the only choice we should be considering when we go about our pokering.

While taking a picture for some tourists on holiday in Vegas, Torelli had an a-ha moment, 
"Turn the camera," I repeated to myself. Brilliant. In taking a holiday photo, I realized my problem. I'm looking at the picture from the wrong point of view. What I should be considering when I make my decision isn't money, but happiness.
Such a simple switch in perspective, but one that can really mean all the difference...not just in your game, but also in your life.

Reading these pieces on the tail end of a short, and tough, poker trip helped me have my own a-ha moment. The bottom line is that playing poker makes me happy. I don't enjoy losing or the fact that luck (and/or one poor decision) can derail hours of solid play. But, that is the reality of tournament poker.

I may never bink the WSOP Main Event, but here's the thing - every tourney I get the opportunity to play *is* my Main Event. And moneying in any one of them is gravy on this bonanza I get to call my life. 

Maybe my circumstances right now are such that I am just a serious recreational player.  An on-going student of the game. More than a hobbyist, but not quite a professional.

And that's ok.

This trip has helped me see that my perspective on this whole endeavor is entirely up to me. Every chance I get to play, and spend time with people I've met as a result of my passion, is a bonus for which I'm thankful.

"Turn the camera." Brilliant, indeed.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Kim Shannon - The Poker (Proust) Q




I think it's quite fitting that today is Friday the 13th, a day Wikipedia says more than 17 to 21 million people in the US become so paralyzed by fear that they "avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights, or even getting out of bed."

It's fitting because today's installment of the Poker (Proust) Q features Kim Shannon (@kimshannon) - the super hot vixen of the felt (and the Twitters) - who instills the same kind of Friday the 13th mind-numbing fear in her victims at poker tables all across the country.

If you follow Kim on Twitter (and if you don't, um...you hate the funny or what?), you already know she's hilarious.


What you might not know, though, is that she's a true poker balla, making her way at the table, and in life, with confidence, determination, and commitment. Unlike a lot of us who cheer and watch enviously from our deskjobs, she's actually making her living at the game. She grinds the poker tables - day in and day out - making grown men weep as they ship her their stacks.




Kim's strength is her cash play and she says her biggest score in one day was hitting the Bad Beat Jackpot at Harrah's in August of last year for nearly $30k. While her playing field tends to vary and is dependent on where the juiciest games are, you can often find her in Atlantic City. And that's where she'll be next week as she tries her hand at the Borgata Winter Poker Open.

Aside from Twitter, I haven't had the chance to "meet" Kim in person, yet. The times  we've skyped or visited through our screens, though, her sincerity and sweetness have always come through. At the table, she wants to win; and, she's got a mind like a steel trap for the game. But underneath it all, while she's likely loathe to admit it, she's also got a heart of gold. If you look close enough here to her answers, you might just catch a glimpse of it.

Kim is the latest to go out on a limb and participate in what I call "my PPQ folly." If you're new to my blog, the Poker(Proust) Q is my modified take on the Vanity Fair Celebrity Proust Questionnaire. Like @kevmath, @MariaHo, and @ShaneSchleger before her, Kim stepped up to the plate and...well, I think she hit it out of the park. But, you be the judge.

You already know Kim is funny. You might not know, though, that she's also really brave and, truly, a loyal friend.  I think she's great and I hope you do, too.

With that, here's Kim...in her own words:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Waking up to the question "Bacon, or cunnilingus?" Happiness is having options, and the freedom to make choices.

What makes you laugh?
Things that are funny. Also, some things that aren't funny, like lolcats and HPV.

Where do you feel most at home?
In the poker room at Harrah's AC. Probably because for 30 days at a time, it IS home.

Of what achievement in poker are you most proud? In life?
In poker as well as in life, I am most proud that I have survived the last 24 hours, and am able to play for at least one more day. Wheeee!

What is your most treasured possession?
Demonic possession has always been a fave. But I'm also pretty fond of a Japanese stone that was given to me many years ago by my roommate and best friend, @bearzconfuzion. It's supposed to bring luck when you rub it - still waiting for that.

What is your greatest fear?
I'm deathly afraid of spiders. And soccer moms. ~shudder~

What trait do you most deplore in yourself?
I used to think I was a bit narcissistic, which is a horrible trait. Then I realized I'm just really fucking pretty. Brilliant, too. So I guess I hate that I'm so much better than everyone else.

What trait do you most deplore in others?
There are others?

What is your greatest extravagance?
I spend a lot of money on clothes, which is ironic because they never stay on for long.

Like lawyers, poker players are often considered excellent liars. Outside of poker, on what occasion do you lie?
Away from the poker table, I don't lie. Ever. Except when the IRS or my mother starts asking questions. Oh, and anytime I just don't feel like telling the truth.

When and where do you remember being your happiest?
Right here, right now.

If you died and could come back as a person or thing, what would it be?
I'd come back as Jesus just for the sake of irony.

What is your favorite journey?
I like the trip from the poker table to the cage the most, because it implies that I haven't gone completely broke. 

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Virtuousness.

Which living person do you most despise?
That little blonde girl in the Welch's grape juice commercial? I loathe that pretentious mini-bitch.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
If it's obscene, I overuse it.

What is your greatest regret?
Every step and misstep I've ever taken has been a learning experience. I don't regret a thing. Well, except for the waterslide incident of 1993. I regret that, for sure.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I'd like to be able to make people burst into flames with just a look.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My dog, Boo... Hands down.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The absence of laughter. That and last call.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I'd be more patient. Now hurry up and ask me the next question. *looks at watch*

If you weren't a poker professional, what would you be?
A hooker. Either that, or a neuroscientist. It's a toss up.

What is your most striking characteristic?
My sense of humor has been described as "biting"... A bite and a strike are both means of assault, so I guess that would have to be it.

What do you most value in your friends?
Their piggyback ride giving ability. Definitely.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Helen Keller... She never listened to anyone, either. And she bumped into shit a lot, too. We're practically soulmates.

Who are your heroes in real life?
My roommates, Frankie & Sharon. They know why.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Underdog.

How would you like to die?
Crashing my spaceship into the sun.

What is your motto?
Nobody ever made a million bucks by not taking a shot in life.

What is your favorite NLHE hand?
Any hand that gets the other players talking to themselves. They don't call me the "Queen Of The One Outer" for nothing.

Who's a better rapper, Jeff Madsen, SrslySirius, or Prahlad Friedman?
Jeff Madsen, obv. Yeah, that pun is intended, again, obv.

Who *really* should've won The Apprentice, Annie Duke or Joan Rivers?
Joan Rivers will be dead soon, so either way, Annie Duke wins.

Who is your favorite Micros character?
Ballz. She's my doppelgänger.

What is your favorite karaoke song?Day-O. Day-ay-ay-o.

What is your best @AlCantHang memory?
Last time I drank with @AlCantHang, my boyfriend @OnAFoldDraw and I got roofied and totaled his jeep, then woke up in the police station. That night was AWESOME, because we lived through it.

Who wins in a baby oil covered death cage match between Jimmy Fricke or Vanessa Selbst?
If Selbst is covered in oil, I win. And by "win", I mean "have multiples". And that's all that matters.

@KaraOTR or Mila Kunis?
That's like asking "Beer or Beer". The answer, obviously, is...Doesn't matter, just GET IN MY MOUTH.

What is the best thing about Twitter and who is your favorite tweeter?
The best thing about Twitter is that I only have to tolerate people 140 characters at a time. My favorite tweeter HANDS DOWN is @SheBanggs. She makes me laugh til I pee. Okay, I was probably already peeing... But still.

Who is your favorite Main Event Champ?
Stu Unger. A man after my own high. I mean heart... A man after my own heart.



***

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