The Grind

Tweet

I really appreciate you all checking out my blog. It's so nice getting comments - although I do find it interesting that my most embarrassing posts get the most comments. Ha! What can I say, I strive every day NOT to be a donkey but it seems it is just my nature. Ugh.

I haven't posted in awhile because I'm seriously on a bad run. Bankroll is fine but I'm just not winning. Today I had Ks cracked by 7s and As cracked by Js, among several other hands that I got in good and then had everything deteriorate into the ultimate poker player nightmare. My past four sessions have just been losing ones and that's not fun and it's not much worth writing about.

It's got me a little worried because I'm gearing up for my trip to Reno and I want to be playing my A-game. As a result, I plan to be working on my mindset hard in the upcoming days. One way I do that is by eating right, excercising, getting good sleep, and just taking a break from poker.

I'll lay off the games tomorrow and maybe Friday and get some studying in instead. I've got a big live game Saturday and then before you know it, it'll be time to head to Reno.

What kind of things do you all find helpful when you're experiencing a bad run?

I'll let you know how the studying goes and I'll share any tips on getting over bad runs here - if I figure any out. Hopefully the studying and downtime it will result in some improvement.

In the meantime, good luck at the tables amigos.

How to Play Like a Donkey

Tweet

Image Courtesy of Google Image Search

This is so embarrassing that I can't even believe I'm posting it.

Spewage much?

Tools for Poker and the Great Jennifear

Tweet

I'm always looking for ways to improve my game so I do a lot of forum reading.  A couple of my favorites are 2+2, PocketFives and Poker Study Groups.

I don't know if it's because I find it easier to navigate or what, but I've gained the most from PocketFives.  I link a lot here in my blog to many articles over there, particularly those written by Jennifear.  She most recently made her 10,000th PocketFives post and it's chock full of great tools that I wanted to pass on to you.



I hope you find it helpful.  In the meantime, good luck at the tables!

My View Point(s) on Life

Tweet

I wanted to update my blog profile to include some of the quotes I have lining my screen on post-it notes but there's really not a spot for that so, viola - new blog post.

 Some of my favorite quotes:

                                        



             They can because they think they can.





                                                                                                                                 

 

       The very act of believing 
                              creates strength of its own.

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.

 Losers call.  Winners raise.

And finally - this one, supposedly composed by a man named John Outlaw:

Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.  Watch your words, for they become your actions.  Watch your actions, for they become your habits.  Watch your habits, for they become your character.  Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

The last one is likely problematic for me...because here's what my desk looks like:

On that note, good luck at the tables, peeps.

The Wait

Tweet

It's one hundred twenty fifty ninety steps from my house to Lainey's.  Sometimes I can make it in less if I run my fastest and jump at just the right spot at the rock ledge. 

Pashoom! I'm a rocket ship blasting off and I jump over the trees and zoom by Mamaw's and I zoom my engine really loud over her pool where she's painting and she drops her paintbrush when she hears my engine roar and it falls in the water and turns it pink and purple.

Then I do a cannonball turn and a spin quickfast like the rocknrollin rollercoaster and land on my tiptoes right at Lainey's front door.  It shakes the windows if I do it too much, though.  Plus, it scares Mamaw and Rocco can't really keep up when I go that fast. They're not done eating anyway or else Lainey would have already come out by now.

I think I remember where we can find that frog in the backyard.  I don't think dogs like to eat frogs but I hope not because I saw Rocco sniffing around by the pond and I really don't want him to eat it and get warts or have one growing inside his belly.  I wonder why a dog would eat a frog anyway.  They don't smell very good and they just eat bugs so they couldn't taste very good...could they? 

Maybe frogs eat grass.  What is grass made of anyway?  I wonder if there's like a family of grass people and I'm sitting on their house and they were eating dinner and I just smashed the table and now the baby is looking at his momma wondering where his spaghetti just went.  That would be horrible!  I hope there's not any grass people that I just smashed their house. I'm glad I'm not sitting on an ant bed, that's for sure.  Every time I get an ant bit it just itches and itches and that pink stuff only works for a little while, but it never really does stop itching until the bump just finally goes away.  Ant bits are the worst.

If I were Rocco I would sit in Lainey's swing all day and look at clouds and watch cars go by.  I'm glad Lainey's dad fixed the swing because it was very hard to play pirate without a ship and the missing boards made it hard for all of us to fit and I was sick and tired of always being the one to walk the plank.  That was not fair at all because I was the only one who could ever find the treasure.  And not just one jewel but the whole chest of golden diamonds and the princess crown and that's the only thing that matters anyway.  It's not my fault that Lainey's mom sat on her princess crown and broke it. 

This is taking ForEVer. I'm just gonna go knock on the door and if...hey!  Finally!  "Lainey! I think that frog is still in the backyard!  Wanna see if we can find it?  We better go quick fast though because I saw Rocco sniffing around by the pond...."

Do You Really Wanna Live Forever?

Tweet

If she's singing to me, I do.

Passions

Tweet

I lived in Dallas, Texas until the 3rd grade.  On my block on Santa Teresa, I had two best friends, Sarah and James.  I remember James had hair the color of dusty caramel.  It was short but thick and tough like a Brillo pad.

James and I were shirtless every day we could get away with it. We were sinewy and tan and superheroes and shirtless made for easier tree climbing. The trees on Santa Teresa were Goliaths. Certainly they were on par with those growing in the Redwood National Forest.

When I was 8 or 9, I loved my jean jacket and my BB gun.  I remember exploring the pastures near my grandparents' home looking for things to shoot with my beebees.  Watching brittle rust fly from tin cans brought the most satisfaction but fence posts and anything that made that great *ping zing* sound would do. I was the biggest tom-boy growing up. I don't think I even realized I was a girl until I started 6th grade.

Photo Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Being in West Texas, these pastures generally consisted of not much more than caliche and sand paths meandering around humming, groaning pumpjacks, gnarled and weathered mesquite (which is still my favorite tree), and lots and lots of tumbleweed.  West Texans treasure this stuff so much they made a State Park out of it. White Sands in New Mexico always gets the glory but the Monahans Sandhills are an unsung Texas gem.

When I turned sixteen, I got a camera for my birthday.  My whole family came over to celebrate.  "Whole family" for me included both my brothers, Mom and Dad, my Grandparents, Great-Grandparents, Aunt and Uncle and cousins.  That's a lot of family in one little West Texas town (I had other aunts/uncles and cousins in other towns and the family has grown exponentially since then).  I didn't get away with much growing up but I sure tried.

The camera was a very expensive Canon, included all the fancy lenses and film and I even got lessons as part of the package.  I promptly opened my presents, gave some desultory thanks and headed out the door to go to a friend's house.  Spoiled brat. Man, was a I lucky.

As a senior, I got a guitar.  I took a few lessons but mainly I learned the basic chords and taught myself to play the songs I loved most.  For me, music is the most nostalgic form of memory.  I can picture moments in time when certain songs come on.

'Already Gone' by the Eagles is the highway between home and the Guadalupe Mountains, Big Bend, Balmorhea, Garner State Park, Carlsbad Caverns, or Ruidoso.  Windows rolled down, hot wind blowing, I'm in the window ledge of the battered station wagon (or maybe it was the red and black suburban), one brother's in the other and the other's on the floor...probably crying or playing with Hot Wheels.  Or maybe they're on the ledges and I'm on the floor reading a book.  Wind blows my Dad's hair.  He's singing...one hand on the wheel, the other crooked out the open window. 

'Bali Hai' from South Pacific is a kitchenette efficiency hotel in Ruidoso.  How Mom got us to watch it is still a mystery but this was before Nintendo DS and smart phones, Twitter and Facebook.  We loved it.  Plus, she made homemade popcorn with extra gravy (real butter).

'Super Freak' by Rick James is the local Mexican food restaurant.  I've just punched the numbers for the song on the juke box before I remember I'm there with my dad.  And my granddad.  I am mortified as I hear Rick start singing, "she's a very kinky girl...the kind you don't bring home to motha....."  I walk back to the table wishing I could disappear and hoping, praying they're not listening to the words. The line of my dad's mouth as he chews his enchiladas tells me this is not so.  We eat in silence as "I really like to taste her (every time we meet)" reverberates in my ears. 

After college, work in a real job and a real office with a real boss and co-workers was what every self-respecting person I knew was supposed to be passionate about.  And I was for a long while.  I didn't go to law school until after I'd worked in the "real world" for nearly ten years.  So, being older, when I went law school, I treated it like my job.  And it's proved fruitful.  Yet...I assume that the law, like accounting (or anything corporate, really?), can suck the joie de vivre out of pretty much anything after awhile...and if you let it.

A little more than five years ago now, during some time off before my daughter was born, I found a site online where I could play a card game called Poker.  And there were other people there playing, too, not just computer bots.

Poker feels like music to me.  Different hands are different songs, each holding distinct memories of places, times, people.

Today, I play online and live.  I talk about poker, read about it, study it, twitter about it, blog about it, dream about it.  

I wonder if it will last.

Poker Stats

Tweet

Logo courtesy of the OPR website

If you play online poker, you're likely aware of the Official Poker Rankings site.  I don't know much about the creators behind it but it's a great resource for checking out opponents and following your own play.

I have to say I'm pretty disgusted with my stats pre-July 2010.  Since becoming disciplined about adhering to a bankroll plan (begun around June 23, 2010), my stats are moving in the right direction.  I know it's going to take awhile to get my ROI for the entire year in the positive, but that's ok.

In June 2010, I had -67% ROI.  Si, senor.  That's a negatory sixty-seven percent..

In July, I had a +19% ROI and a profit of $27. In August, I had a +10% ROI and a $34 profit.  So far this month, my ROI is at +88% and I'm showing a profit of $206.

As I wrote here previously, I started off with $600 in my online account on September 1, 2010.  As of today, my BR is at $873.65 (which includes a PokerStars VIP Stellar reward - wheee).

I really don't know how I played poker before creating and sticking to a Bankroll Management plan.  Now that I am, I very much believe it's changed my game.

What about you?  Do you practice bankroll management?  If so, what is your plan and how does it work?  I'd love to hear your comments about the practices you follow.

My philosophy, in a nutshell, is:

Never buy into an MTT for more than 2% of my BR

Always have 250+ buy-ins for the game I'm playing

In addition, I write down my daily efforts.  It looks like this:

September 15, 2010

BR = $830.55

7 tourneys (-$15.40)
         Won (+58.50)

Profit (+42.10)

BR = $873.65
VPP = 121.28

Picture courtesy of Linda Spivey

I blank everything out and cut and paste and do it all again the next day that I play.

Maybe that seems too results oriented, and I admit that it sucks to play a lot of tourneys in one day and only have a $10 profit...and I've been there (and worse, with losing sessions).  But, tracking it in this way really clarifies it for me.

After writing it all down, I then often use my HEM and PokerStove to go over marginal hands and see where I messed up in a tournament or could've played a hand differently.

Anyway, that's how I'm doing it.

If you have not checked out OPR, I'd highly recommend using it.  If nothing else, it can keep you honest about whether you're being serious about your online pokers.

For grins, check out the stats on these monsters (they lead the PokerStars tourney leaderboard for 2010):

BFIZZ11
AltyAA  (this guy doesn't even have stats pre-2009!)

While I doubt I'll ever be able to play the volume these guys do, it's fun to be able to track the effort.

Hopefully, I'll get motivated to write soon about something other than poker (and Brandi Carlile).  Until then, I hope you're running good and I hope to hear your comments about BR strategy - or anything else you'd like to share.

Good luck at the tables!

Before it Breaks

Tweet

Unyielding to the latest storm after a lifetime of bending

On her most recent album, Give Up the Ghost, Brandi Carlile sings of regret...of mistakes...of moments at the crossroads, in a beautiful song called "Bend Before it Breaks"  (lyrics here).

Though I don't think she was writing about poker, I often find myself experiencing these emotions at the poker table.  Always the result of my own mistakes. 

I'm learning to take the beats...it's part of poker:  MDFR (make decisions, f(orget) results) (a little something I'm learning from Jennifear and Mathew Hilger's book The Poker Mindset). So while I can deal with the beats, it's the mistakes I'm making that are so heartbreaking to me.

Take this weekend's game, for example.  It was a nice 3-table homegame in BFE Texas with a $100 buy-in. 17,000 in chips, 30 minute blinds for the first two hours, with blinds starting at 25/25.  Lots of room to work and play.

We draw seats and shuffle up and deal.  First hand, I'm in the BB.  Folds around to cut-off who 3xbb raises.  Folds to me and I look down at AhKh.  Many times, I will reraise with this hand from any position, depending on the players, table dynamics, any reads I might have, etc.  This was the first hand.  I'm out of position.  I know nothing about the CO player so, I flat call. 

Board brings me a black A, a black 3 and a black 5 (not same suit).  I check.  She bets.  I call.  Turn's a blank and I check.  She min-bets and I raise.  She calls.  Turns another blank.  Because I raised her turn bet, I lead out with a little over 2/3 pot and now 7000 of my chips are sitting in front of me rather than safely in my stack. While I put her on an A, I didn't put her on a set of them.  Sigh.

Patience. Patience.  Patience. Small ball.  Small ball.  Small ball.

I worked my way back up to having a very solid stack, certainly second in chips at my table (and Ms Trip As had long since busted and we were down to two tables, ~14 players remaining) after 3+ hours of solid play, when disaster strikes.

Disaster in the form of pure aggression without thought.

7 handed at our table I notice that the newest addition, who is immediately to my right, has begun raising my blind when it's folded to us in a blind v blind battle.  Since he's to my right and I have position, I will defend and do.  It folds to him in SB and he 3xbb raises.  I look down at Ac2c and 4bet him.  He folds.

Very next BvB battle between us, it's folded to him and he 3xbb raises.  I look down at KdQd.  But I don't raise.  I just FC.  Why didn't I raise?  Why did I raise with the crappy A2s but not the KQs?  I had position. He folded the last time I 4bet him, why not continue with the pressure?

My thought process was this: "I raised the last time he did that.  He won't believe me if I do it every time.  Why not call and see a flop?"

A crossroads.  I turned left when I should've turned right.  I should have continued with the pressure and put him to the decision rather than putting myself in the position of possibly having to make tougher decisions post flop.

Preflop my hand was better but once he flopped two pair (QT), bet and moved AI to my reraise, my stack was decimated (I had him covered).

Solid, consistent, good poker hand after hand, hour after hour.  That is the goal.

One misstep and it's all over. 

Well-timed aggression is good.  Knowing when to bend before you break is even better.

And it saves me from crying to Brandi Carlile and beating my steering wheel to death on the ride home.

BANKROLL UPDATE ---

I cashed out my PokerStars bankroll after my DN debacle last month and have been playing some at FullTilt (if you're not playing their Twitter Poker Tour tourneys, you should!) and downloaded the software to Phil Laak's poker room, which I think is just a skin for Cake Poker? 

I got a very nice email from PokerStars after their "official statement" stating I was always welcome at the site and for that reason (plus my more than 17k in VPPs, which translates into dollars over time), I decided to redeposit a new bankroll back into my PS account to take advantage of those VPPs and the micro MTTs (the $2 and $4 90-mans) that they offer.  If you know of similar grindage opportunities at any other online site, please let me know and I will check it out.

On September 1, 2010, I redeposited $600 into PokerStars.  On that date, I played 6 tourneys at a cost of $14.05.  I shipped one $2.20 90-man, winning $49.59 and min-cashed in a $1.10 MTT for $2.25 for a total profit of $37.79.   

Min-cashed in a couple on the 2nd and lost some buy-ins on the 6th but had a good day today playing 10 tourneys (buyins -$35.20) and final tabling 3 for a net profit of $72.80.

BR = $695.55
  
Thank you for reading and I welcome your comments. 

Until next time, good luck at the tables!