When I was a kid, the Scholastic Book Fair was something I
always looked forward to. I loved poring over every page of the colorful 4-page
flyer and reading the teaser description for books, all of which looked so
interesting. Plus, it was fun haggling with Mom and trying to convince her as to
*why* I needed all those books and *what a good deed* it was to be buying them
(after all, it’s partly a school fundraiser, library/classroom stocker).
So I was excited this week when bitty one emptied her back pack
and her 2011 version of Scholastic came fluttering out. It wasn’t long, though,
before that 2011 version got crossways with my 1974 memories of same.
I thought I might see some Beverly Cleary, or E.B. White, or
Wilson Rawls, or even that good old standby Theodor Geisel.
Instead, I saw several descriptions like these:
“Eleven year old David dreams of becoming a TV star. With a
little help from his pet hamster, he creates “Talk Time” videos which he posts
on YouTube and becomes an internet sensation.” …He learns some tough lessons,
however, when a not-so-accidental video of him in his undies goes viral; namely,
the value of a dollar, the importance of a PayPal account for processing credit
card payments, and the over-arching need for good domain name selection. Will
David make it to high school without being snatched by a skeevy, middle aged,
married and balding internet troll or will his parents shut off DWTS in time to GET THEIR 11 YEAR OLD
KID OFF THE YOUTUBE VIDEO MAKING INTERNET?
And…
“More than anything, Anjali wants to become a celebrity
chef, but her parents think her passions are beneath her. Can she push past
family beliefs and make her dream of a cooking reality TV show come true?” …because
God knows that the only way to be a *true* success in this world is to BE A
REALITY TV STAR, even if you do cook better than Paula Deen.
Or…
“Just 10 years old, Willow Smith already has starred in TV
and movie roles, released a hit single and video, and won an NAACP award for
outstanding new artist. Find out all about this rising new star.” …who is ONLY
FAMOUS BECAUSE SHE HAS NOT ONE BUT TWO CELEBRITY PARENTS WHO ARE PIMPING HER
OUT SOLELY BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN SUED BY PARENTS OF CHILDREN ALL ACROSS THE
COUNTRY AFTER SAID CHILDREN REPEATEDLY whipped their hair back and forth causing
multiple neck fractures, contusions, dental fragmentations, and, in at least
one case, leprosy.
Also…
“These four best friends have a talent for getting in
trouble. Will their smooth moves land them a sweet gig, or will they find
themselves in a big time mess?” …if by “mess” you mean represented by an
overweight, track suit and chain wearing, more than middle-aged hair dying,
sex-crime having Manager who records their every move while on the bus (even
when they are unawares, which is usually in the shower or in the bathroom or
asleep) for the sake of the career he keeps telling them they’re going to have,
then yes. They will find themselves in quite the mess.
Sigh…
I kind of quit reading the descriptions after that.
I recognize finding that elusive catalyst that sparks a
child’s interest in reading is always a good thing. And, I’m all for that. But
why does the so-called catalyst have to be so connected to TV (reality, at
that) or the internet? Kids get so much of that as it is, they gotta get it
from books, too?
ARGGH!
I’m old. The world is changing and my daughter’s part of a
whole new generation. And she needs to be prepared.
But, not yet.
Not yet.
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