Kim Shannon - The Poker (Proust) Q

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I think it's quite fitting that today is Friday the 13th, a day Wikipedia says more than 17 to 21 million people in the US become so paralyzed by fear that they "avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights, or even getting out of bed."

It's fitting because today's installment of the Poker (Proust) Q features Kim Shannon (@kimshannon) - the super hot vixen of the felt (and the Twitters) - who instills the same kind of Friday the 13th mind-numbing fear in her victims at poker tables all across the country.

If you follow Kim on Twitter (and if you don't, um...you hate the funny or what?), you already know she's hilarious.

What you might not know, though, is that she's a true poker balla, making her way at the table, and in life, with confidence, determination, and commitment. Unlike a lot of us who cheer and watch enviously from our deskjobs, she's actually making her living at the game. She grinds the poker tables - day in and day out - making grown men weep as they ship her their stacks.

Kim's strength is her cash play and she says her biggest score in one day was hitting the Bad Beat Jackpot at Harrah's in August of last year for nearly $30k. While her playing field tends to vary and is dependent on where the juiciest games are, you can often find her in Atlantic City. And that's where she'll be next week as she tries her hand at the Borgata Winter Poker Open.

Aside from Twitter, I haven't had the chance to "meet" Kim in person, yet. The times  we've skyped or visited through our screens, though, her sincerity and sweetness have always come through. At the table, she wants to win; and, she's got a mind like a steel trap for the game. But underneath it all, while she's likely loathe to admit it, she's also got a heart of gold. If you look close enough here to her answers, you might just catch a glimpse of it.

Kim is the latest to go out on a limb and participate in what I call "my PPQ folly." If you're new to my blog, the Poker(Proust) Q is my modified take on the Vanity Fair Celebrity Proust Questionnaire. Like @kevmath, @MariaHo, and @ShaneSchleger before her, Kim stepped up to the plate and...well, I think she hit it out of the park. But, you be the judge.

You already know Kim is funny. You might not know, though, that she's also really brave and, truly, a loyal friend.  I think she's great and I hope you do, too.

With that, here's Kim...in her own words:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Waking up to the question "Bacon, or cunnilingus?" Happiness is having options, and the freedom to make choices.

What makes you laugh?
Things that are funny. Also, some things that aren't funny, like lolcats and HPV.

Where do you feel most at home?
In the poker room at Harrah's AC. Probably because for 30 days at a time, it IS home.

Of what achievement in poker are you most proud? In life?
In poker as well as in life, I am most proud that I have survived the last 24 hours, and am able to play for at least one more day. Wheeee!

What is your most treasured possession?
Demonic possession has always been a fave. But I'm also pretty fond of a Japanese stone that was given to me many years ago by my roommate and best friend, @bearzconfuzion. It's supposed to bring luck when you rub it - still waiting for that.

What is your greatest fear?
I'm deathly afraid of spiders. And soccer moms. ~shudder~

What trait do you most deplore in yourself?
I used to think I was a bit narcissistic, which is a horrible trait. Then I realized I'm just really fucking pretty. Brilliant, too. So I guess I hate that I'm so much better than everyone else.

What trait do you most deplore in others?
There are others?

What is your greatest extravagance?
I spend a lot of money on clothes, which is ironic because they never stay on for long.

Like lawyers, poker players are often considered excellent liars. Outside of poker, on what occasion do you lie?
Away from the poker table, I don't lie. Ever. Except when the IRS or my mother starts asking questions. Oh, and anytime I just don't feel like telling the truth.

When and where do you remember being your happiest?
Right here, right now.

If you died and could come back as a person or thing, what would it be?
I'd come back as Jesus just for the sake of irony.

What is your favorite journey?
I like the trip from the poker table to the cage the most, because it implies that I haven't gone completely broke. 

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Virtuousness.

Which living person do you most despise?
That little blonde girl in the Welch's grape juice commercial? I loathe that pretentious mini-bitch.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
If it's obscene, I overuse it.

What is your greatest regret?
Every step and misstep I've ever taken has been a learning experience. I don't regret a thing. Well, except for the waterslide incident of 1993. I regret that, for sure.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I'd like to be able to make people burst into flames with just a look.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My dog, Boo... Hands down.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The absence of laughter. That and last call.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I'd be more patient. Now hurry up and ask me the next question. *looks at watch*

If you weren't a poker professional, what would you be?
A hooker. Either that, or a neuroscientist. It's a toss up.

What is your most striking characteristic?
My sense of humor has been described as "biting"... A bite and a strike are both means of assault, so I guess that would have to be it.

What do you most value in your friends?
Their piggyback ride giving ability. Definitely.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Helen Keller... She never listened to anyone, either. And she bumped into shit a lot, too. We're practically soulmates.

Who are your heroes in real life?
My roommates, Frankie & Sharon. They know why.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Underdog.

How would you like to die?
Crashing my spaceship into the sun.

What is your motto?
Nobody ever made a million bucks by not taking a shot in life.

What is your favorite NLHE hand?
Any hand that gets the other players talking to themselves. They don't call me the "Queen Of The One Outer" for nothing.

Who's a better rapper, Jeff Madsen, SrslySirius, or Prahlad Friedman?
Jeff Madsen, obv. Yeah, that pun is intended, again, obv.

Who *really* should've won The Apprentice, Annie Duke or Joan Rivers?
Joan Rivers will be dead soon, so either way, Annie Duke wins.

Who is your favorite Micros character?
Ballz. She's my doppelgänger.

What is your favorite karaoke song?Day-O. Day-ay-ay-o.

What is your best @AlCantHang memory?
Last time I drank with @AlCantHang, my boyfriend @OnAFoldDraw and I got roofied and totaled his jeep, then woke up in the police station. That night was AWESOME, because we lived through it.

Who wins in a baby oil covered death cage match between Jimmy Fricke or Vanessa Selbst?
If Selbst is covered in oil, I win. And by "win", I mean "have multiples". And that's all that matters.

@KaraOTR or Mila Kunis?
That's like asking "Beer or Beer". The answer, obviously, is...Doesn't matter, just GET IN MY MOUTH.

What is the best thing about Twitter and who is your favorite tweeter?
The best thing about Twitter is that I only have to tolerate people 140 characters at a time. My favorite tweeter HANDS DOWN is @SheBanggs. She makes me laugh til I pee. Okay, I was probably already peeing... But still.

Who is your favorite Main Event Champ?
Stu Unger. A man after my own high. I mean heart... A man after my own heart.

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